Blissful Abuse
by tigermoons
Summary: Trunks is a charming, peaceful guy to everyone he knows. Except Pan, who gets the full brunt of his angry outbursts. Pan is weak. She knows it. But being strong means she will lose the man she so helplessly loves. An evolved one-shot years in the making.
1. Blissful Abuse

_**Fight me**_

_**The abuse is what I crave**_

I could see the anger in his eyes, I pushed him over the edge again. I feel something rise in my stomache, a feeling of anticipation as he throws something off of his desk and it shatters against his wall. I tense at his act, shutting my eyes tight as I hear his deep, laboured breaths. I hear his hard footsteps on the floor, he slams the door closed, I'm surprised no one heard from downstairs. I still keep my eyes closed, I'm waiting for it. "Why do you always ask for it?" He hisses dangerously close to my ear. My eyes slowly open, I feel his hot breath on my neck, I want to back away but I want him to touch me everywhere.

_**Hit me hard**_

_**I want to here it break**_

"I-I'm sorry.." I manage to get out in a hushed tone. This calms him none as I feel the back of his hand smack against my cheek. My face burns now, it's a familiar burn. I go to touch it but he roughly grabs my wrists, "Your voice sickens me now." This is the first time he has said this...It hurts, more than the backhand, I blink away tears.

_**Bite me**_

_**I want to see the blood**_

In a way, I do ask for the abuse. I crave for the pain, I want to hurt. This is not intense enough for me, I want to scream out. I once again egg him on, "You're scum." I spit out at him, he shoves me to the bed, I feel a pain in my abdomen. "Do you think this hurts me!" I don't know when to quit...Sometimes I wonder when he'll finally just kill me..I know no bounderies. He growls, hitting me once more, this time I can feel the strength behind it. I get excited, I want him.

_**Pull me,**_

_**Push me,**_

_**Shove me,**_

_**Fight me.**_

He grabs my ankle, I make no protest as he pulls me off the bed and I hit the ground. I feel his fingers around my throat as he licks my cheek, He's excited now too, I can tell. He traces his finger to the collor of my shirt, he rips it off viciously. The room is cold, it nips at my skin. He bites my shoulder hard, I can just feel the blood trickle to the hardwood floors. I gasp a bit as his teeth stick in further, but he pulls away momentarily to pull off my shorts. I lay on the floor before him in nothing but my underwear, I dare not try to cover any of my body, instead my arms are limp at my side.

_**I feel the pain**_

_**My love, it's beautiful**_

_**Leave your mark**_

_**All over me **_

His fingernails rip into my skin as he trails them down my bare stomach, leaving red marks as if an animal attacked me, an animal did attack me. His tounge swirls my belly button, it tickles. He makes it a note to hit me when I giggle, but just barley. His eyes, the fire within them burned with passion and rage, I close my legs tight as I think of him claiming me.

_**Stick in your fingernails**_

_**Make me gasp**_

_**Your fingers around my throat**_

_**Don't let me breathe**_

_**I don't want to breathe**_

He pulls off my remaining garments, he looks upon me as if I am a tool, a possesion. I want him more now than ever.

_**I lay **_

_**My body broken**_

_**Look at me with those passionate eyes again**_

_**I want to see the fire**_

_**The rage**_

He takes me then, I am his. I feel him fill me completely, I dare not make a noise as I bite my lips to surpress my moans.

_**I want to feel fear**_

_**I want you to abuse me**_

He is done with me now, he leaves me in that same spot, I dare not move as he leaves the room, grunting a bit as he zips his pants back up. I know he loves me. He has to love me. I may be crazy, but he loves me.

_**I want you to abuse me**_


	2. There is no passion like anger

_**Author's notes:** Okay. So I wrote a second chapter. I'm not sure if I want to turn this into a full-length story or what. So review and tell me. Should I or shouldn't I?_

He looks at me from across the dinner table with malice in his eyes. He's such a beautiful boy. A beautiful _man_. I still feel the sting of his bite upon my shoulder and the tear of his fingernails in my flesh. Goten is shoving food in his face like a normal sayian, oblivious to the silent electricity that raged from me to Trunks.

The family is happily chattering amongst themselves and I am quiet. I always regret the animalistic behavior between us. I know that in his mind lurks evil, and it seems only towards me. But that anger that he carries, the _desire_, it's more than I could ask for. No one would be able to understand the urge I have for him. I want to feel the intensity.

_**Because there is no passion like the passion of anger.**_

He stands with his plate still half full and pushes his chair in, "I'm done." He announces in a low voice. "But you still have half your food on your plate!" Chichi exclaims. "I'm not feeling well." Trunks answers. He shoots a warning glare towards me. I know what it says, '_follow or it'll be worse next time.'_

I wait two minutes after he leaves the room and I excuse myself as well. Slowly I wander the halls of the house, peeking in each room cautiously. My footfalls are nearly silent on the floors and adrenaline is pumping through my veins.

From behind me I am grabbed and pulled into a room. His arm is constricting around my waist. I could scarcely breathe due to the pressure of his muscle. "Are you afraid?" He hisses into my ear. I didn't answer. I couldn't answer. He pushed me on a desk, pencils and pens flying to the floor. I grip the edge of the desk tight and manage a gasped "Yes."

He slaps me across the face. He loves the sound of the smack, skin hitting skin. His eyes are alive and dangerous in their lustful state and I bit my lip hard in anticipation. His hand trails up my torso and to my ribs, but he hesitates. This, of all things, scares me. Never once has he ever stopped even for an instant. I look into his eyes and see they are growing cloudy.

"Despicable." I spit. My remark rekindles the fire in his mind. He pulls at my shirt and sends the buttons airborne. His feverish hand finds its way up and down my body and his teeth find the wound from before. He bites back into the wound, re-opening it and letting a tiny river of crimson trickle to my collarbone. He's fumbling with the zipper of my jeans when we hear a knock at the door.

"Hello? Trunks?" I hear Goten call. He pushes me off the desk with a great amount of force and I fall to the right side of the bed. He wipes his mouth were traces of my blood could be found. "Yeah?" He calls back to Goten casually. "What are you doing? Are you alright?" Goten asks. He fixes his shirt and runs his fingers through his damp hair.

"Yeah one minute dude." He calls. He sends me one more fiery glare telling me that tonight I shouldn't sleep. He opens the door a crack and slips out, leaving me with a button-less shirt and a bleeding shoulder.

_**But I know one thing. He'll always be back.** _


	3. Anger that seethes

**Author's notes: So here's chapter three. I'm just going with the flow on this story, and I'm falling in love with it. So please more reviews so I know that I need to post it up here, cause if people aren't going to read it I'd just as easily keep it to myself. So please review so I know you actually _want_ to continue with this story.**

I pulled my shirt closed. How could I leave the room with all my buttons missing? I scanned the room quickly; it was one of the guest rooms. The walls were a dark plum and the sheets were black satin, the cold hardwood flooring was beneath me. "Pan?" I heard my father calling. "Pan! We're leaving where are you at?" he called again.

The barbeque was over and everyone was leaving. I needed to find a shirt. I tore open the dressers by the closet and saw they were bare. Then I flung open the closet door and saw just three empty hangers. "One minute!" I called back. The blood from my shoulder had reached my pants and had created a nice bloody stain. I pushed my hair from my eyes and took a deep breath. "Where are you at?" my dad called.

"In the guest bedroom. Hey…I'm gonna stay the night here with the Briefs and Goten. Bra should be home sometime tonight." I called to him. I leaned against the door and put my ear to it for a reply. There was silence for a second then, "Well alright. We'll see you at home then…" I could hear the slight suspicion in his voice, but he wouldn't expect anything wrong from me.

I sat on the edge of the bed and starred at the door, counting the minutes and thinking of a time when I knew the hall would be clear. I didn't want anyone to see me with my shirt open like this. I held my shoulder in my hand, the wound was so deep that it even surprised me. I looked to the clock on the East wall and saw that 45 minutes had passed since I had entered this room. I bit my lip; that habit of mine.

I laid back on the bed till I heard no other voices coming from the house. All was quiet and I decided to make my escape for Bra's room, she'd have something I could wear. I slowly creaked the door open and poked my head out. All was clear. I tiptoed down the hall and had my hand on the doorknob to Bra's room when I felt an energy behind me. It was not the hostile energy I feel when Trunks approaches, it was calm. It was Goten.

"Hey you stayed?" He asked in his welcoming voice. He placed his hand upon my shoulder. I made the mistake of wincing. "What happened?" He asked. "Nothing." I said quickly. His eyebrows knitted together, "Nothing? You're bleeding Pan." He said pulling back my shirt just over my shoulder. He looked at the bite puzzled. I shrugged him off and opened the door to Pan's room, sliding in and shutting the door on Goten's face.

The last thing I saw was his perplexed expression. He knocked for 10 minutes straight but I was deathly quiet and wouldn't answer. I pulled off my shirt and held it to the bite to stop the blood flow, which worked quite well. "Pan?" Goten called from the hall. I gave him no reply. I finally heard his footsteps leaving, but they were hurried.

_**Secrecy makes things so much more passionate.**_

Goten walked down the hall with a purpose. He walked straight to Bulma who was putting things away in the kitchen. She hummed softly to herself and brushed away her short blue hair from her face. "Do you know what happened to Pan?" He asked without any hesitation. Bulma looked up to him, her red lips twisted in thought, "Can't say I do. Why?" She asked. Goten sighed, "No reason…" He mumbled and walked off. Now he walked to Trunk's room. He opened the door without a knock and looked over at Trunks who was busy with his nose in a book.

Trunks looked at Goten from over his book. He folded the top of page 166 and shut his book, placing it on his nightstand next to him. Trunks seemed so cool and mellow. "What the heck is wrong with you?" Trunks asked in a half joking manner. "Do you know what happened to Pan?" Goten asked. Trunks stretched his arms over his head leisurely and stifled a stubborn yawn, "Didn't she leave with your brother?" He asked.

Goten shook his head, "No. And I caught her sneaking in the hall with her shirt all over the place and her shoulder bleeding." He said. He could tell Trunks anything and know it would be kept between them. Trunks placed an elbow on his knee and looked at Goten questionably, "Bleeding?" He asked as if surprised. "Yeah…Someone bit her." Goten said with a hint of distaste.

"Bit her?" Trunks repeated in a question. He, of course, was the greatest of actors. "Did you ask her about it?" He asked. Goten nodded, "Yeah. And she said absolutely nothing."

Trunks tapped his chin, "Weird. I suppose you want me to talk to her?" He asked. "If you would. For some reason she'll talk to you." Goten said with a shrug, "I'm just worried is all. It's kind of…Odd."

"Oh don't worry Goten, I'll have a talk with her."

_**Anger that seethes is so much greater than that unleashed in an instant.**_


	4. Hate can't recognize the bounty of love

**Author's notes:** Okay. So now the plot starts to thicken. After this one the chapters are going to become longer 'cause now I've kicked off the story. So enjoy and please review:

I starred absently at Bra's huge television. I was watching some new sitcom. I wore one of Bra's burgundy silk shirts that she loves so much. She wouldn't mind. I hugged a pillow close to my body and tried to ignore the throbbing pain I still felt from my shoulder. It would be nothing compared to what Trunks would do later.

My mind bounced back and forth from Trunks and to Goten. What did or would he do? Would he mention anything to anyone else? My foot tapped the bed nervously. Everywhere I looked in the room I saw pink and I was getting tired of it. It was like the walls slowly crept towards me, and would eventually crush me.

I had sat in the room for a few hours since I had seen Goten. I was going stir crazy but I also feared what was going to meet me if I left. Then suddenly, tearing me from my thoughts, was a soft knock on the door. I knew who it was. He was so calm under the eyes of others. He would even enter the room quietly, but once the door was closed he was frightening.

I got onto weak legs and answered the door for my hateful lover. He gently pushed past me into the room. I shut the door slowly, focusing on the loud creak the door made. For a second he stood with his arms crossed over his broad chest. Even his breathing was barley audible. I looked to my feet, only catching glances of him through my eyelashes.

He cleared his throat theatrically, "Goten came and talked to me." He said. His voice was gruff. A surge rolled down my spine and I licked my lips. "You were careless." He hissed through clenched teeth. His anger was rising now and his fuse was short. I was silent still, letting him conjure up his own rage. I have a theory of why he does this to me, why he's so calm around everyone else but me.

I think that if he takes all his rage out on me, there is no more left to burn other people. So in a way, I was helping everyone else out, right? No matter the case, I allowed it and with pleasure. I will not lie; it scares me why I relish these moments. Maybe it's because I've always fought for his attention, and now I get it. His fingers twisted into a fist and he punched me, sending me far across Bra's vast bed.

_**They say wrath is one of the seven deadly sins…So maybe I'm suicidal.**_

I take a rigid breath and grasp the bed sheets in my hands. I know that when I don't make eye contact, that it angers him, so I don't look at him. Not even in his direction. I felt his hand grasp around my ankle and pull me underneath his body. His roughly takes my face into his hands and makes me look him in the eye, "Why wont you look at me?" He spat.

I pressed my hands against his chest and tried to push him away. I know that he loves when I put up a fight. He grabbed my hip in an iron grasp, his fingernails digging into my flesh. There would be a severe bruise there. My arms dropped to my sides and I whimpered slightly, it was something I could not stop. "Shut up." He said, being cautious of the people who inhabited the house with us. I closed my mouth quickly. But I guess mot quickly enough.

He slapped me across the face with the back of his hand. "If you mess up again you won't have a shoulder for me to bite, got it?" He whispers dangerously in my ear. I nodded dumbly and he let go of me, standing beside the bed and running his fingers through his fine hair. That's it? It's over? I sat up slowly on the bed, puzzled. "Wait…" I started.

He turns to me, "What?" He asked agitated. "Is that all?…" I asked. In a quarter of a moment he had me pinned against the wall with his hand wrapped around my throat, my feet dangling over the hardwood floor. "It was…Until you opened your mouth." He growled deeply. I gasped for air and pulled at his tensed fingers. He dropped me to my feet and pressed his body up against mine, not giving me enough time to catch my breath.

With one swift movement my pants were off as were his. He pulled me up and leaned me against the wall. I wrapped my arms around his strong neck but he bit my forearm and I retracted swiftly. He entered me without any ease or care towards my way and I tried to move with his rhythm but it was continually getting faster. His fingers gripped my sides painfully. I bit my lip until it bled trying to hold back noises.

_**Anger is a symphony of things…And I am the composer**_

When he was done, and I was too, he laid his head in the crook of my neck. I felt his hot breath and I closed my eyes, relishing the feel of his feverish body. "I love you…" I said. His head shot up and my eyes flung open. Had I just said that?

"What?" He asked. His voice wasn't angry but immensely confused. "I-I…" I stuttered. He pulled up his pants and stepped away from me. I did the same and fumbled with my zipper nervously. He starred at me with large eyes, "Did you just say you loved me?" He asked. I didn't look at him. How could I respond? He seemed so out of sorts that it made my heart beat with fear. I had told Trunks that I loved him, what was to await me now?

**Author's notes:** So there you have it. Chapter four. Stick around to see what happens!


	5. Men in rage strike those who love them

**Author's notes: Okay, next chapter! I think that it is longer. But anywho, thank you for the reviews and enjoy:**

Half of me was wishing that he'd tell me he loved me too. But I was foolish and still full of hope then. His facial features were blank with nothing to read; I couldn't tell what was racing through his mind.

My eyes slowly became glassy with tears, "I'm sorry…" I whispered. He let out a breath that he had trapped in his chest and turned abruptly, leaving the room and shutting the door quietly behind him.

I still stood with my back against the wall, trembling slightly. It felt so surreal. Many times I had dreamed about telling Trunks I loved him, but I vowed never to do it. And I did. I broke my vow. Trunks heard the words from my lips. If nothing I had expected him to hit me, but he just left looking so confused.

I slid down the wall and sat on the cold floor, pulling my legs to my chest and holding them tight. I wasn't going to cry, the tears weren't in me. Or if they were, they would get no farther than wetting my eyes slightly. I only hoped I did not ruin what we had. It wasn't much, but it was something. Something that I desperately needed.

The TV played a laugh track loudly. It mocked me. I searched for the remote in the covers of Bra's bed and pressed the big red button at the top. As the TV went dark I hurled the remote at it, only lucky that I didn't break the screen. I twisted myself up in the blankets and laid lifeless on the bed, feeling frustrated.

_**Men often make up in wrath what they want in reason.**_

Trunks sat on his bed, starring blankly at the wall ahead of him. Goten laid on the floor, pecking at a video game controller. "Did you talk to her?" Goten asked without a pause in his game play. "Yeah…" Trunks muttered absently.

GAME OVER flashed the TV screen and Goten lightly tossed the controller away. He turned to Trunks and fixed his eyes on Trunk's blank face, "And?" He asked waving a hand in front of his friend's face.

Trunks softly shook his head and blinked, gathering himself, "She got into a fight." He answered smoothly. It came from the top of his head, but Trunks was a brilliant person.

"A fight? With who?" Goten asked, his face contorting in question. Trunks sighed and fell back onto the bed with his arms crossed behind his head, "Some girl that hates her because her boyfriend likes Pan."

"Wow. Girls are crazy." Goten stated, laying next to his friend and looking to the ceiling. Goten had bit the bait, and by the looks of it he was reeled in too. They sat for a moment in silence before Goten spoke, "I wonder why she just couldn't tell me that." He said.

"Well you are her uncle…Maybe it is just because you are family. Teenage girls find it hard to confide in family." Trunks spoke his wisdom, and Goten agreed. Goten usually agreed with everything Trunks said.

"Let's go to bed, I'm tired and I need energy for my dates tomorrow." Trunks smirked, but only to seem normal to Goten. "Alright dude, I'm getting tired too."

_**Men in rage strike those that wish them best.**_

Bra tiptoed up the stairs, trying to be quiet so she wouldn't wake anyone. She pushed her door open and placed her bags down by her desk. "Good to be home…" She mumbled to herself and stretched. "Ah, air conditioning." She giggled and kicked off her shoes. She slid into bed and pulled covers over herself before she jumped up with a shriek. "Shh, Bra it's just me…" I whispered.

"Pan? What are you doing here?" She asked with a hand over her heart, "You scared me to death!" I sat up and ran my fingers through my tangled hair, "I was here to greet you home." I said with a weak smile.

She took me into a large embrace and squeezed me with all her might, "Am I glad to see you! The camping trip was fun, but it would have been better with you! Why didn't you come?" She whined.

I pried myself from her death grip, "You know why, I had to stay home because of my summer job, remember?" I asked. She rolled her eyes, "I asked your boss if he could give you some time off and he said yes, but you still left me hanging!" She said crossing her arms over her large chest.

I had no excuse now, so I changed the subject, "How'd it go with you and Erik?" I asked referring to her newest crush. She fell back on the bed with a thud and a dreamy sigh, "Wonderful! We're going out Friday." She said. Oh how different Bra and I were, but I loved her so much.

"Of course you are, how could he resist you?" I said. She smiled widely, no doubt thinking back to the trip. Then her eyes flicked to me, "Why are you wearing my shirt?" She asked with an eyebrow raised. "I, uh, got a whole bunch of barbeque sauce on my shirt. So I borrowed one of yours." I shrugged.

"Oh, no problem. But why are you sleeping in it? It has to be uncomfortable." She said jumping up off her bed and going to her dresser, "Here, wear this." She threw a spaghetti strap night dress at me, it was red and silky. "Thanks." I said and got up, going to her connected bathroom.

"Why are you going in there? You don't have anything I haven't seen before." She joked. I stopped in my tracks and bit my lip, "Well…" I sighed in defeat. There was no excuse I could think of. How I wished I could think on my feet like Trunks could.

"Do I need to undress you myself?" She asked, slipping on her own night clothes. I shook my head and managed a small smile. It was so forced that I was surprised she didn't catch it. I slowly took off the burgundy shirt and tossed it on her bed. "Pan! What happened to you?" Bra exclaimed.

Where Trunks had grabbed at my sides were purple bruises and the bite still remained on my shoulder. Not to mention scratch marks down my stomach. "Tough training session…" I laughed nervously. "With who?" Bra asked. "Trunks." It slipped out. I covered my mouth with my hand swiftly. I messed up again.

"Trunks!" Bra shouted, "I'm going to go tell him to stop being so rough with you and to keep his teeth to himself! Doesn't he know that sparring isn't actually trying to _kill_ the other person?" She went marching to her door but I caught her arm, "No, it's fine. I kept telling him that I wasn't a wimp and that he should fight me like he fights Goten. It's my fault." I shrugged and tried to keep the plead from my voice.

She searched my face, "Still, it's wrong for him to do that! He should know that you are not Goten! I mean, he's had a few more years of training than you've had!" She sighed and touched my shoulder, "And you should know your limits."

I looked to the floor and took a deep breath, "I know, I know." I said in a mutter. "Let's get this treated, we don't want it getting infected." Bra said going into nurture mode. It was so natural for her to take care of people. "But I'm still going to talk with Trunks…"

**Author's notes: So there ya have it. I hope it wasn't confusing in any way. Please review and I'll keep the chapters rolling!**


	6. Through his anger I find a kind of love

**Author's notes: So here's the next chapter! I hope you enjoy:**

_**Through abuse I find a comfort…Through his anger I find a kind of love.**_

Morning came and I rolled over in bed to see a sleeping Bra next to me. There was a bandage over my shoulder now and it had prevented me from sleeping. It was very annoying, I usually sleep on the side where the bandage was. I slipped out of bed slowly and went directly to the connected bathroom where I brushed my teeth, washed my face and pulled my mess of hair back.

I quietly tried to make it out of Bra's room without waking her, it was early in the morning. Her door clicked behind me without even a stir from Bra. I padded down the halls and turned till I made my way to the kitchen, which was still dim because the blinds were closed tight. I could smell food cooking though and knew it was Vegeta.

He had a thing for waking up really early and training. I slid onto a stool at the marble counter and pulled a tray of muffins towards me. "Why are you up so early brat?" Vegeta asked without turning from his frying pan. It was actually a comical sight to see Vegeta cooking, no one would think he was so domesticated.

"Just…couldn't sleep." I answered stifling a yawn. He flipped an egg and turned to me, leaning against the counter. The same annoyed look was plastered to his face. Even when he wasn't annoyed it was stuck on there. "What happened there?" He asked pointing to my shoulder. "Just being clumsy." I answered. I knew Vegeta wouldn't pry, simply because he wouldn't care. He turned back to his cooking without a word and put the massive amount of eggs on a plate.

Then he turned to the cupboard, pulled out a slightly smaller plate and put an egg on it. He placed the plate in front of me, "Here, eat. You look like you need it." He said not looking at me. I looked at it a second. That was kind. "Thank you." I said and tried to manage a smile. He gave no reply and took his stacked plate with him to his gym, which was located on the back of the house.

He was so weird. So unlike his son, yet, so much like him. I grabbed a fork from a drawer and poked at the egg a few minutes. My stomach was ravenous with hunger yet I couldn't eat. The dim room was now silent as death. I pushed the food and fork away from me and laid my head on the cool marble of the counter. Then I felt an energy coming down the hall and to the kitchen. It was Bra. Her presence was known so well to me.

She walked into the room with a silk robe tied tight at her waist. "You're up early. I woke up and saw you weren't next to me." She smiled, "Guess you couldn't sleep well either." I shook my head, "Nope. I barley got a wink of sleep. You?" I asked. Bra poured some orange juice in a mug and sipped at it, "I didn't sleep well. Nightmares." She shrugged.

She sat on a stool next to me, "But anyway, what do you want to do today?" She asked, as chipper as ever. I let out a long sigh, "I have to work. Stupid summer job." I groaned, my head in my hands now. "Oh yeah…Maybe we can do something after you get off?" Bra asked. I nodded, "Okay, sure."

I heard a blaring music suddenly snap on. It was Trunk's wake up music. Hard rock. For someone so sophisticated, he sure did go out of the box with his music. Not that I complained, I liked the music as well. Bra's face contorted, "Why does he always do that. His music is crap." She scoffed.

She growled softly and turned to me, "I don't get him. He's so weird. I mean, he's an absolute genius, so why is it so hard for him to figure out that his music is nothing but anger?" She said. I nodded in agreement with her, but I also knew the side of him that she didn't.

She rolled her eyes, then touched my shoulder lightly, "How does it feel?" She asked. "Fine." I stated plainly, "but I have to get ready for work." I said quickly, jumping from my chair. I walked to the doorway to the kitchen when I bumped straight into the chest of a sleepy eyed Goten. "Sorry!" I apologized. "No problem." He assured and groaned, "Why does Trunks always have to wake me up so early?"

"Because you wouldn't get up at all if I didn't." Trunks laughed pushing past me and Goten in the doorway and making his way to the fridge. He made eye contact with me for a split second, then turned away as if threatened. Usually I would see malice and anger in those eyes. I ruined everything we had, even if it were bad.

"You get her good?" Goten asked with a playful punch to my arm. "What?" I asked confused. "That girl you fought yesterday. She must have been crazy to bite you that hard. Who was it?" He asked. "Uh…" I started but was cut off by Bra, "Fight? What? I though you said you were sparring with Trunks?" She asked, turning to me.

Trunks froze where he stood and looked at me.

_**Great anger is more destructive than the sword**_

I laughed nervously, "Well, um, Trunks is kinda like a girl." I passed off lamely. "You did that to her Trunks?" Goten asked turning to his friend. Trunks was silent. Was this the one time that he would run out of lies?

**Author's notes: So there ya have it. Sorry for the cliff hanger, but I had too. Thanks for all the reviews too! It keeps me writing, so keep sendin' them in! **

**P.S the reason this took so long to get up is because wouldn't let me upload chapters there for a while...So I had to transfer it to notepad! What a pain in the butt! **

**Anyhow, the next chapter will be up soon...**


	7. Wrath has put a mark upon me

**_Author's Notes: Here's chapter seven! Thank you all who reviewed, it helped me get this done faster! Enjoy! _**

**_Oh, and whoever was wondering if this was a songfic, it's not. It sprouted from a poem I had written._**

Tension poured into the room like a thick liquid. I would say honey, but that is much too sweet. This was a bitter moment, like you just bit into a lemon or something. I saw the quiver in Trunk's eyes as he racked his brain for an excuse. I had ruined his train of thought by telling him I loved him. Everything's my fault.

"He didn't mean it." I said defensively. I half meant it too. I mean, of course he wanted to bite me, and he did, but for some reason my mind always registered that Trunks was the victim…not I.

Goten didn't look away from his friend, he was giving him every chance to say something in his defense. But Trunks just stood there, a weary look on his face. _'What's wrong with you!' _My mind screamed, _'Say something!'_

But he didn't. He turned his gaze to me and I was like a deer caught in headlights. Such sympathy in his eyes. "Can someone tell me what's going on here?" Bra asked confused.

"Trunks lied to me." Goten said. He didn't say it bitterly, it was just as if he were stating a simple fact, "And the rest is beyond me."

"Well…" I began. I had an aching in my chest and throat to just spill everything, the whole truth. But I was too cowardice. I never had the guts to hurt Trunks back, but I had never wanted too. Not until then.

"Well what?" Bra asked, urging me to continue. I felt my hands tremble; those kinds of situations were the worst for me. I couldn't take tension. It's kind of a contradiction huh? I can be abused by a guy for almost every day since I had turned a certain age, yet I couldn't take tension.

I couldn't take the possibility that Trunks could be in trouble. It _killed_ me.

"Well," I started again with more confidence. I could tell that he was expecting me to rat him out, yet I had not the heart, "We were sparring and I was getting a little out of control and…and it was an accident." My sentence ran all together.

You could clearly see the relief on Trunks' face when I made up an excuse. But the excuse was a flimsy one that wouldn't hold up long. I could tell Goten was still suspicious. He glanced over at Trunks who finally found his voice, "Yeah. And I didn't want you to get mad at me, 'cause, ya' know, she's your niece and all. So I told you she got in a fight. I was just trying to stop her…She got really out of control."

So he didn't have to add the last part. Now people will look at me like some lunatic that can't control her anger…when really it was him who couldn't control his anger. Goten was not fully convinced, that was obvious, but he couldn't prove any of us wrong.

And to tell the truth, I wouldn't have believed that excuse either. I knew that this was not over. Goten would watch us closely now.

"Oh." Bra said, blinking. She was so trusting and gullible, luckily for me. I couldn't take the atmosphere any longer, "I have to go to work." I announced weakly. I shot Trunks a shy glance and left the kitchen in a hurry. I know I left everyone a little perplexed, but I was just glad to be away from them.

**_When your anger has subsided, I don't know you anymore..._**

I changed into a pair of Bra's clothes and snuck out the front door, trying to be like a Russian spy and not let anyone see me. I only got as far as the end of the porch.

"Pan." I heard from behind me. The honey smooth voice was that of Trunks. Slowly I turned to see him on the front step with the front door open. "Y-yeah?" I asked. The day was so hot that I had already begun to sweat, which I hated. "Let me drive you to work." He said. It was more of a statement than a question. He knew I would never turn him down.

I nodded, confused. I almost feared the ride I was about to take. I followed him meekly to the garage where there were several very nice cars. To my surprise he picked a modest silver one. Not that it wasn't nice, I would have died to of had that car, but compared to the rest it was average. I slid onto the black leather seats and waited while he started the car and opened the garage.

There was silence as the sleek silver car slunk down the driveway. His hands were gripping the steering wheel, but not in an angry way. More like a I'm-thinking-at-the-moment kind of way. Then his head slowly turned to me as we rolled to a stop at a stop sign.

I continued to look forward as he looked at me. A few strands of his longer hair hung in front of his eyes, though he made no motion to move them. I was so happy when he decided to grow it slightly longer; I thought it suited him better. But I couldn't have thought of that then, I was too anxious to barely breathe.

"Pan." He started, "I need you to promise me something."

Dumbfounded, I look at him, "What?" I asked.

"Promise that you won't love me."

My heart thudded faster, "Why?" I asked, controlling my tone so it wouldn't escalate to how I felt. And that was emotional. Very emotional.

"Because," He snapped, "You know what I am like, don't be a fool. Pretend nothing ever happened between us, we were much too close to being caught."

First of all, _he _was close to being caught, not me.

Second of all, _yes_, I knew what he was like, and _yes_, I was a fool.

Third of all, how the hell could I just pretend nothing happened between us? It had been happening for the longest time! You can't forget something like that!

_**Wrath has put a mark upon me...Phyisically and mentally.**_

Tears pooled in my eyes and I looked away from him, "Okay." I whispered. He looked disgusted when he saw my tears, but he hit the accelerator and sped off from the stop sign and headed to the Orange Star Mall, the place were I worked.

A fool, that's what I was.

**Author's Notes: There ya' have it. So review and tell me what you thought! The next chapter is coming soon**


	8. Trust can make you blind

**Author's notes: Yeah, I couldn't wait to put the next chapter up because I got such good reviews! See, reviews pay off! Anyway, here it is. Short, but sweet:**

I watched the silver car pull out of the mall's parking lot. I had choked back most of my tears and wiped my hand across my face to discover only one stray had escaped my eye. _'Don't cry.'_ My mind pleaded. I straightened the knee-length skirt and smoothed the wrinkles out of the black shirt I was wearing. I would be fine…

I pushed through the doors and welcomed the blast of cool air that hit me. I clutched my side, feeling the bruises that were adorned there, and walked to the restaurant in the back of the mall. I walked passed the front counter and into the back room that held all the ovens. I yanked my apron off of the wall and tied it around myself.

I absolutely hated being a waitress, yet I wasn't as rich as the Briefs and could only afford things when I worked for them. I went to leave the kitchen but I had to stop, for fear of crying in public. That would be humiliating. I felt the grief rise in my stomach and manifest through my body, race through every vein and flood my eyes in salty tears. I bit my lip and hid my face in my hands, leaning against the wall.

I felt so weak, but this time I got no pleasure from it.

I felt my body tremble as I held back sobs, quieting them until they were silent. What did I do to deserve this? Why couldn't he love me too? I should have known that he never would have…I should have known that the only thing coming out of mine and Trunks' little 'sessions' was pleasure. Though I enjoyed his abuse before, now it was torture, it was tearing me apart. What he did to me was wrong, no matter how much I loved him.

Yet, I still loved him. If he would have came there while I was crying and told me he wanted me, I would have let him do anything he wanted to me. Like I said, I was a fool. But I was in love. In love with a monster. I wiped my eyes with my sleeve and composed myself. Work awaited me and I couldn't break down. Not here, not ever.

For a few seconds I stood, breathing in and out. Finally, I pushed through the kitchen door and busied myself with costumers.

_**A body can only take abuse for so long…who are you to think that you can endure it forever?**_

Goten knocked lightly on Bra's bedroom door. Only a few seconds passed and it was opened. "I need to talk to you." Goten said sitting at the edge of Bra's bed. "About what?" Bra asked, sitting back at her vanity and patting make-up on her cheeks. "About Pan." Goten stated. Bra set down her make-up and turned in her chair to face him, "What about her?" Bra asked, already knowing what he was going to bring up.

"About those…wounds on her body, and how they got there." He answered.

"You heard them…they were sparring and it got out of hand."

Goten shook his head and looked to the hardwood floors below his feet, "When does Pan ever get out of control? She's the most passive person I know. And…" He trailed off. Bra raised an eyebrow, "And what Goten? Tell me." She urged. Goten sighed, "I might be crazy but…but I've noticed."

"Noticed what?" Bra asked, trying to be patient.

"How Trunks looks at her…how he disappears, and then how Pan disappears right after him. I can feel something between them. And I'm worried."

Bra half-laughed, "Goten, I think you're really making this something that it's not. He's your best friend and my brother, we both know better than to think that he'd do something wrong." She said picking her make-up back up. But something silent did turn in her head, something that she refused to listen to.

"I guess you're right." Goten mumbled.

_**Trust can blind you more than you know.**_

I had been at work for a few hours when I saw it, when I saw them. I placed down a glass of water for a couple sitting by the door when I happened to look over. I saw the flash of his lavender hair and knew who it was. Trunks. I nearly dropped my tray, "Sorry." I mumbled to the couple. Gripped in his hand was a flower, a pretty yellow flower.

He must not have seen me. He paced back and forth sluggishly, his mouth moving. He was talking to himself, like he was trying to set something straight in his mind. I kept looking down at the flower he held. I tried not to think it…But was that flower for me?

**Author's Notes: There ya' have it. Please review and tell me what you think! **


	9. Who says anger is strength?

**Author's Notes: Yay! Next chapter. Thank you for all the reviews, I cherish them all. I hope you enjoy:**

I placed my tray on the counter and kept glancing over at Trunks. He didn't look over, he just looked at his feet while he paced. I wondered what was going on in that complex head of his…

"Miss!"

A woman beckoned me. I was all out of sorts. The day had me jarred and my brain was a pile of thick, icky goo. I couldn't organize my thoughts. The filing cabinet in my head was kicked over and now I was desperately trying to pick up the documents.

"What can I get for you?" I asked the robust woman who was squished in a booth. "We still don't have our drinks." She said demandingly. Quickly I dashed to the drink fountains and filled up two cups, one for the very unpleasant woman and her silent, scowling husband who sat across from her.

I set down the cups in front of them without a word, then ventured away from their table before they could ask more from me. My eyes darted to him again; he was still doing the same thing- pacing and talking. Like he was practicing a speech. I then scanned the restaurant. It wasn't _too_ busy…my co-worker could handle it for a minute.

On shaky, flimsy legs I walked to the back and hung up my apron. "What are you doing?" My co-worker, Isabella asked. I entwined my hands in front of me to control my slight shake. I always shook and trembled, it was a sign of how weak I was. That's what I thought anyway. My mom and everyone else said it was just because I was a nervous person. "I'm taking my lunch break." I said in a cracked voice.

She raised an eyebrow and looked to the clock, "Uh-huh…" she started, suspicious, "Just don't take too long. I cover your tables." I sighed a relieved sigh, but I wasn't relieved. I still felt anxious. I weakly smiled at her and pushed through the kitchen door. I spied Trunks and pushed my unwilling body forward.

The closer I got to him, the longer that walk seemed to be. His guard was down, that I knew, for he didn't see me at all. He didn't even feel my energy approaching. It got to the point where I was about a foot from him, his back facing me as he looked to the ground. I reached out and tapped his shoulder, and he swung around to see me. His face was surprised.

"Umm…what are you doing here?" I asked. I could hardly sound happy when I saw his face. It reminded me of the morning. I was so ashamed that my eyes had filled with tears in front of him. He was so strong, and I was so weak.

_**But who says anger is strength?**_

I couldn't help but let my eyes drop to the flower in his hands as the silence grew. "I saw you…from where I worked." I said. For a moment I thought I saw that familiar flicker in his eyes. The flicker and flare of rage. But it was gone as fast as it came.

"Listen," He started urgently. He was cut off. A hand with long purple fingernails touched his shoulder. Trunks and I both looked to see a girl, a brunette with soft curls and inviting blue eyes. "Hey," She said with a smile. Trunks' eyes flashed to me, they held no sympathy, yet they held something else…something I couldn't describe. It was like a dry apology.

"You got me a flower?" She asked, taking the small yellow flower from his hands. She hugged him around the neck. I stood motionless, emotionless, but for only a second. The girl then turned to me, "Hello, who are you?" Her pleasant voice asked. My lip quivered and I bit it, "Pan, nice to meet you. And who are you?" I asked back.

"Claudia." She answered. I nodded, looked to Trunks and then turned, "See you." I said quietly over my shoulder. I locked all sights onto the front door, air is what I needed. Even if it were thick, scorching hot air.

I burst through the front doors and found a spot to sit by the decorative bushes. I held my knees to my chest and gripped them, but I didn't cry. I wouldn't let myself. I just kept telling myself that everything was okay and that I was blessed and that I was being selfish. It worked. Soon my tense grip on my legs loosened, and my mind settled on something.

It settled on that loneliness is something only weak people can't take. And I wanted to be strong. I couldn't help but think though…_was there something wrong with me?_

It was hot, and no matter how many times I wiped my forehead, sweat always came back in record time. The bus would stop at the bus stop in 10 minutes. I contemplated getting on it and going home, skipping work. I didn't want the job anyway…

The next thing I knew I was bunched in an overcrowded city bus, watching the street signs shoot past. I wanted to go home. I wanted to hug my dad, I wanted to cook with my mom, I wanted to do anything and everything to get my mind off of Trunks. But I knew the tears were buried deep and would have to be released before I would burst.

Yet my mind held them back like a dam in a river. I was going to explode.

_**When will it be my turn to be angry?**_

****

****

**Author's Notes: There ya' go. Review and I'll update soon! **


	10. Haunting memories

**Author's Notes: Next chapter! Thank you for all the reviews, even if it was only a few it still made me happy to read them :3.**

I got off the bus and into the hot air again. I could see my home right down the street. My humble little home. It was so different from the Briefs' house, but nothing was better then home. Home was comforting. Home was warm and inviting. I knew at home I didn't have to worry about Trunks popping out of nowhere and dragging me into a room…

_**Memories wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact that I knew we'd make more…**_

I opened the unlocked door and stepped inside, the smell of good food over taking my senses. I looked around the living room and saw that it was empty. The sun's rays streamed in from the windows and poured onto the carpet. My mother loved the sunshine.

I walked into the kitchen and saw my mom chopping vegetables. She looked up from her work and saw me. She smiled at me, "Home so soon?" She asked. I simply nodded and sat on the counter. I looked into the boiling water that sat on the stove, finding myself lost in thought.

_'I love him…but I can't take this anymore. I will not let myself suffer. Can I trust myself though? Can I really stop this? Am I strong enough?'_

My mother snapped me out of my thoughts, "Your grandparents are coming over for dinner tonight." She said. Immediately my mood brightened. I loved my grandfather Goku. So this was my chance to remove Trunks from my mind. Then the phone rang.

My mother hurried herself over to the receiver and picked up the phone, "Hello?" She asked. "One second."

She held the phone out towards me. I took it into my hands with a questioning look. I placed it up against my ear, "Hello?" I asked.

"Pan." The voice on the other line said.

"Hey…" I croaked.

There was silence for a moment. Of course my parents wouldn't invest on a cordless phone. No, of course not. So I had to stand there in front of my mom, anxious due to the lack of response. Looking away from me, my mom turned back to her cooking. Thank goodness.

"I'm sorry." I heard. I nearly dropped the phone. Did I just…hear that correctly?

I knew he was on his cell phone, I could tell because the line cracked every few seconds.

"For what?" I asked.

"You know what." He snapped, irritated. "I went to your work, and you were gone. Then I called my house, and you weren't there. So I knew the only other place you'd be was home."

I didn't respond. What would I have said anyway?

My mother must have had the wrong idea. She wore a smirk on her face, "Invite him over for dinner." She suggested, loud enough so he could hear. I shot her a look, a surprised one. If only she knew…

"Do you mind?" Trunks asked. Crap, he heard it, "I need to talk to you."

I bit my lip. How could I deny him? I still felt the soreness from the wounds he inflicted on me, yet they went away in those moments. It was like I kept inviting the devil back after I had gotten rid of the demons. But if he was looking for me and calling around for me…that must mean he cares in some way.

But what did he want to talk about? It didn't matter, because I knew that was a battle that I had lost. "Okay. Be over soon. My grandparents will be over too." I said at last. My mother's smirk widened. What was she thinking? She must have thought that Trunks and me were dating or something…heh. Ironic, sort of.

"Okay." He said, and he hung up.

"Bye…" I mumbled and placed the phone on the hook. I hadn't been home more than 10 minutes when he called. He was every freakin' where. The next thing I knew Goku and Chichi were pushing through the front door with their arms full of home made food. "We're here!" Chichi called, placing the filled bowls and platters on the table. There was so much food. But then again, the house did have sayains living in it.

I rushed over and hugged my grandfather, happy to see him again. "Hey there kiddo." He said, hugging me back. Having him there made me feel like I was a little girl again. It was a nice feeling, going back to when everything was simple.

I looked over to see Chichi and my mom talking, whispering. I could only imagine what they were saying. My mom was probably telling my grandma that Trunks was coming over, and that she thinks there is something between us and blah, blah, blah. They kept glancing over at me. I absolutely hate gossip. There they are, thinking something completely different than what was really going on.

They're so blind of everything. Everyone is. But it doesn't matter. Because it wasn't just Trunks who abused me, it was me as well. I allowed it to happen. It happened so often that even _I_ started to enjoy it. How sick and foolish of me!

But now he was coming over. He wanted to talk to me. I remember thinking that it was finally my chance to talk to him, to finally get my feelings out. It was my turn to be angry.

**Why do you let something take a hold of you like that? The anger becomes you…and you become its slave. So then, how strong are you now? You can't fight yourself, much less anyone else. **

I went to go help set the table, placing all the silverware perfectly in each spot. I didn't know what was going to happen, and I tried not to think of it. Then the door swung and Trunks entered the house. I turned to look at him, seeing the yellow flower dangle from his fingers.

**Author's Notes: Here ya' have it. The next chappie. Will Trunks set things right? Will it _really_ be all that easy? Well, review and I'll tell ya'!**


	11. Are you capable of loving?

**Author's Notes: Next chapter! Thank you all for the reviews! Enjoy!**

I nearly dropped a steak knife clumsily in my wonderment. The next thing I knew Trunks was by my side in a flash, catching the knife before it hit the ground.

"Sorry." I mumbled, looking away from him. Grandmother Chichi and Mother were looking at us from the kitchen, watching our every move. Nosey, nosey people.

He didn't respond. He simply slipped the flower into my fingers without anyone noticing the transaction. Dumbfounded, I looked to his face. But he turned away, heading to the kitchen without a word.

I looked down to the little yellow flower. It was starting to wilt, and it was missing a petal, but it was beautiful. My beautiful wilting flower.

_**Is your soul capable of loving? Has it not yet been infected by the demons that won't let go?...I would have thought so by now.**_

"So nice you could come." Chichi said suspiciously, raising an eyebrow at Trunks. He seemed to force a smile on his face, "I would never miss your cooking." He complimented. Chichi smirked, that same probing look on her face, then responded, "Why thank you."

My mom placed her pasta and vegetables on the table, along with everything else under the sun that she made, and clapped her hands together loudly, "Food is finished!" She called. I swear I heard a stampede. Everyone was at a seat within an instant.

Everyone seemed to have coordinated their seats so thatI ended up next to Trunks. Stiffly and cautiously, I sat next to him. No one waited for grace, no one waited for anything. Everyone began pilling up their plates immediately. Not a surprise.

I, of course, waited for everyone else to stop greedily shoveling food on their platesbefore Igot my own. I stayed stiff the whole time, feeling Trunks' presence so close to me. I didn't even glance over at him once. I feared him, I guess you could say, in a way.

But he calmly kept quiet, eating with his proper manners and making friendly conversation. I was the only one who would be able to tell, but there was something different about his voice. It was still silky smooth and clever, yet the octave was lower. I just knew there was something different about him…

Once I bumped elbows with him and I felt a shiver run up my arm. I still held the flower underneath the table, I knew I must have been suffocating the poor thing. Yet I was so confused I couldn't help grip it a little too tight.

Was he just going to tell me that I should pretend it never happened again? Was he just going to break my heart again? It couldn't have been…He gave me a flower. A sympathy flower? No. He wasn't that way.

Soon all plates were completely empty. Except for mine.

"Are you okay?" My mom asked. I nodded my head weakly, "I'm fine, but can I go to my room and maybe lay down?" I asked quietly. She nodded, looking a little concerned, and took my plate from my hands.

"Do you mind if I go with her?" Trunks asked. My mother thought it over for a few seconds, "Yes," She said at last, "But behave."

_**Words are so civil...It's strange to hear you talk.**_

Trunks followed me down the short hallway that lead to my rather small room. I pushed open the door and took in a lung full of the familiar scent of crisp apple freshener. I sat down slowly on my dark blue comforter and leaned to my nightstand where I turned on a very dim little lamp. The light softly played off my light blue walls and serenaded on Trunks' stern looking face.

He turned to my dresser and touched my little swan music box. Quietly I sat watching him look over my room. I couldn't tell if he had a real interest in my room or if he were thinking something. I controlled myself to were I didn't shake. I didn't want to show any weakness with him. I laid the flower next to me on my bed.

"Pan." He started. That's how he usually started off things if he were talking to me.

"Yes?" I asked.

He pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and pointer finger, "I've been having thoughts lately." He stated.

"Thoughts?" I asked, "What kind of thoughts?"

He was silent a moment, then he turned the force of his lovely blue eyes on me, "I know I hurt you Pan." He said absently. He didn't answer my question. I shot my eyes straight to his eyes for one of the first times since I could remember. I looked him straight in the eyes. But only for a few seconds.

"Why?" I asked. He seemed surprised, "What?" He asked.

"Why do you hurt me Trunks?"

He seemed to dig deep in his mind. He was searching for an answer…but he didn't have one.

"I don't know Pan." He said. I heard a form of hallow dread in his voice. "I won't lie to you. I had a date at the mall, it was with Claudia. I thought everything was settled in my mind when I told you to forget about what happened between us…but when I saw you, when I saw your face, I knew my mind _wasn't_ settled."

"What do you mean your mind isn't settled?" I asked. How confusing.

"Well, I was pacing back and forth while I was waiting for Claudia, but my mind kept racing with those _thoughts_." He said, "I kept trying to sort things out in my head, but there was so much there…I'm sorry. Anyway, that's when I realized that the flower was for you. Not any other girl."

I slowly stood and approached him, feeling a slight twinge of confidence. I touched his cheek, but my fingers began to shake, "What thoughts Trunks?" I asked quietly. He grabbed my fingers in a soft grasp and put them by my side, "You shouldn't touch me. You shouldn't _want_ to touch me. You know…you know better than any other person about my anger. I can't think when it overcomes me, but it just hits me, just the littlest things triggers me."

Many times I wondered why Trunks was so angry. Maybe it was just a chemical imbalance in his brain, but it could be something else too. What made Trunks get so angry? _Why _was he _always_ so angry?

**Author's Notes: Hmm…I think it's longer. But anywho, thanks again for all the wonderful reviews (And predictions), and I hope to get more! It really helps me write faster. The reason I wasn't able to update as quick this time is because I was getting some exams finished (I'm homeschooled, so my school lasts longer). But now that that is through I'll update as quick as ever!**


	12. You made me weak

**Author's Notes: Here ya' go. The next chapter! Thank you all for the reviews! Enjoy!**

LAST TIME:

_I slowly stood and approached him, feeling a slight twinge of confidence. I touched his cheek, but my fingers began to shake, "What thoughts Trunks?" I asked quietly. He grabbed my fingers in a soft grasp and put them by my side, "You shouldn't touch me. You shouldn't want to touch me. You know…you know better than any other person about my anger. I can't think when it overcomes me, but it just hits me, just the littlest things triggers me."_

"But I'm not afraid of you trunks." I whispered.

"Yes you are." He stated plainly.

I watched him, biting my lip and crossing my arms loosely across my chest. I was afraid, I had always been afraid of him. I didn't want to be, oh how I wished I wasn't. Slowly I reached for him, placing my hand on his chest and then leaning my head against him. I could feel the breath leave and enter him, I heard his heart pulsing and I felt his comforting body heat.

"You don't want to hurt me anymore?" I asked timidly.

"Of course not."

"Than…Than maybe there's help. Maybe someone can help you." I said.

He stepped quickly away from my touch and turned to me with eyes hard as stone, "You mean like a shrink?" He snapped, "I don't need the help of some doctor."

I nodded and looked to my feet, "I, um, was just suggesting…" I trailed off. His gaze softened, "I just meant to say," He started, lifting my chin with his finger, "that I can get through this alone…well, with your help." He said. I opened my mouth to respond but I couldn't find anything to say.

"But I need you to be strong for me. You can't help me if you aren't strong. Will you be strong?" He asked. I nodded. Trunks _needed_ me. He then pushed my hair from my face and kissed my forehead. But at the exact wrong time. As soon as his soft lips touched me, Grandmother Chichi opened the door. We both quickly retracted away from eachother.

She stood, hand on hip, leaning on the doorway, "Am I interrupting something?" She asked. "No. I was just about to leave so Pan could lay down." Trunks answered quickly.

"Mhm. Sure." She said sarcastically, then turned to me, "Get some rest if you aren't feeling well. But you're going to miss dessert, you know."

"I know…I just have a headache…" I answered meekly. I crawled onto my bed and watched them leave. I saw Trunks pass me a glance from over his shoulder. Everything was so surreal. I couldn't believe that Trunks' lips were pressed against me in a completely peaceful way.

It just kept ringing in my head; _'I need you to be strong for me.'_

How could I be strong? How could I help him without help myself? I hugged a feather pillow close to my body, thinking. He seemed so nice. I couldn't help but wonder if it were like the acts he puts on for everyone else, or if he really regretted hurting me in so many ways, and for so long. I touched my shoulder. It would probably leave a scar. Scars never go away, so can these memories go away? Can I make room for a new Trunks, a Trunks who wants to be, but can't be without my help?

**_How can I be strong for you, when you were the one who made me weak?_**

The next morning I got a call from my boss. I was fired from work for leaving without an excuse. I slammed the phone down on the receiver and my mom looked to me surprised, "What is it?" she asked. "Nothing." I stated shortly. It was bad because it was my only source of cash flow, but it didn't matter all that much to me. My mind was swimming in a whole different pool.

My mom turned to me with a smirk, "So Trunks kissed you." She said in a teasing voice. Gossip. Evil, fast-spreading gossip. "It was nothing, just on the forehead 'cause I wasn't feeling good…" I tried to counter. "A kiss on the forehead means a lot Pan. Its one of the most tender things." She said with a weird look in her eye. She was obviously fawning over young love like a lot of older people do.

"Well…it was nice." I mumbled and left her there to smirk after me.

I didn't know what to think. How long would this loving Trunks last?

**Author's Notes: Erm…it's a little shorter than usual, but I hope it'll do! I can't write this weekend 'cause I'm going on vacation, but Monday night I promise to write a super long chapter to make up for it! Please, review!**

**Oh, and feel free to ask any questions. :D**


	13. Ripped Opportunities

**Author's Notes: Okay. I. Am. So. Sorry. **

**I know that it's Tuesday and not Monday…But I couldn't write Monday 'cause lots of stuff was going on (heart break, ya' know?) But I did make sure I got it done tonight! Enjoy:**

I looked over at Trunks, who was driving down one of the busiest streets in the city. He was taking me job-hunting. He told me it was his fault that I lost my last job, so he'd take me around to find another one.

He rested his cheek on his fist as he slowed the car down at a red light. It made him look so young…Kind of like when he was a little boy.

But that thought brought back memories, horrid memories that I didn't need to think of. I starred at his face through the silence that hung in the car. A frustrated sigh swelled in him. He was obviously impatient when it came to red lights.

He glanced over at me. I quickly looked to my hands, which were folded in my lap. He made me feel like a little girl who was in serious trouble. All he had to do was glance over and I felt I had done something wrong.

"What are you thinking?" He asked.

Startled, I blinked once. "Um, nothing." I answered awkwardly. He didn't seem convinced. His hands tightened around the steering wheel slightly as he starred off at the red light that never changed. "I know when you're thinking." He stated.

I bit my lip. What did he want me to say? That I was remembering the painful past? That I was pondering over how he tortured me? I'm sure that would have put him in the best of moods….

"Nothing." I answered again. He frowned. I wasn't sure the frown was because of me, or if it was because of the stoplight. He was quiet for a second, and then he turned to me. He looked into my eyes a second, "You are thinking something. You just don't want to tell me."

Finally, as a God-sent, the light changed to green. He stepped on the gas and focused his attention on the road. I wasn't sure, but I think he was trying to stay calm.

"And I know it's about me." He said quietly, not turning from the road. Once again I didn't answer. My hands, like always, began to shake slightly. It was like he was getting into my _mind_ now. I was afraid to think anything out of turn…I was afraid that he'd know my thoughts. He worked his way into me.

**_I wish my mind would give me privacy…_**

"How do you know?" I asked timidly. He placed his hand on my shaking one and squeezed it, "Because I know you." He said simply. How could he have known me though? This was the first time in my life that Trunks has ever talked civil to me when no one was around…This was the first time that he acted as if he cared.

And I know he was trying real hard to control his anger, and I knew he cared…But he still made me _hurt_. I knew that this would not last long. I smiled weakly at his gesture.

"Are you going to tell-" But I cut him off, "That's the place, right there." I said pointing to a small white building. He turned the blinker on and pulled into the parking lot. The car sat idle for a moment. I went to open the door but Trunks hit the lock button. "Hold on." He said. I slowly tried to pull my hand from his but he wouldn't allow it. "What is it?" I asked, "I need to get in and apply before someone comes along and takes the job."

He shook his head slightly, "I doubt a few minutes will effect anything." He said. I didn't answer. I just looked at him expectantly. "What's on your mind?" He asked firmly. I thought hard, reaching the corners of my mind. He wouldn't let it go…what was I going to tell him?

I let out a sigh, "Trunks…" I breathed, then stopped.

"Yes?" He urged.

"This is weird." I blurted. This time when I pulled my hand from his he let go.

"What do you mean?" He asked. He sounded a bit hurt…and frustrated.

"I-I'm just not used to you being…" I trailed off, looking out the heavily tinted window to escape his probing gaze. I gripped my skirt in a white-knuckle grasp. I tried to summon up courage.

"I mean…we've never really _talked _about…you know…" I said, waiting for the smack against my face. But there was none. I turned to see Trunks gripping the steering wheel and glaring out of the windshield. His face held a frown and his brow was furrowed together.

"What's there to talk about?" He snapped. I instinctively flinched. "…Nothing." I whispered and opened the car door, heading straight for the little bookstore I was going to apply at.

I opened the front door and stepped into the cool air. The walls were lined with bookshelves crammed with books, the lighting was lower than usual and soft classical music played in the background. This was a sophisticated place, and I felt as if I didn't belong the moment I entered.

"Can I help you?" I heard a voice. I turned to the front counter to see a man with a big book opened in front of him. I entwined my hands in hope that they would stop shaking. "I'm here for a job." I said in a barely controlled voice. The man took off his glasses and half smiled at me. He ran his fingers through his long golden hair and leaned over the counter to shake hands with me.

"I'm Kiyoshi." He said.

I took his hand in mine, "And I'm Pan."

Then the door opened and Trunks entered. He walked by my side as I let go of Kiyoshi's hand, hopefully my new employer. This looked like a pleasant place to work. Kiyoshi and Trunks' eyes met for half a second. I could tell Trunks didn't like him.

Kiyoshi cleared his throat and pulled out a form from a drawer, "Fill this out and come back tomorrow. If you fit all the questions below than I'm pretty sure you'll have the job." He said with a smile. I smiled back, taking the paper, "Thank you."

**_Happiness cannot exist when you're surrounded by pain that is brought on by wrath..._**

Trunks hurried me out of the door, taking the paper from my hands. I looked at him fearfully. He started the car and squealed out of the parking lot. We were driving along silently for a few minutes when Trunks held the paper out and started reading it. Every once in a while he'd chuckle, almost bitterly at what was on the paper.

I just watched his eyes flicker across the paper, and then to the road again. He took the form by it's side and ripped it in two.

"What are you doing?" I gasped. He shot his eyes over to me, "You can't work there." He stated. My heart rate quickened, "Why not?" I croaked. He looked back to the road just in time to slam on his breaks and avoid a serious collision. I gripped the armrest as the car jammed to a halt.

I was breathless a second. A horn was blaring from in front of us, although Trunks' car didn't even tap their car. Trunks' grasp lightened around the steering wheel and he turned to me, "Are you okay?" He asked. I nodded numbly. But I wasn't okay.

The rest of the ride was silent. Trunks kept his eyes on the road and I kept mine off of him. I did everything I could to not look over at his beautiful face. Trunks was taking away a great opportunity for me…I could have been happy working at that quiet little book store with a friendly co-worker. But he wouldn't have it…

The car rolled to a stop in my little driveway. He turned the car off and slipped the keys into his pocket, "I don't think anyone's home…" He mumbled. I bit my lip-like I always do-and jumped out of the car. I walked to the front door with Trunks trailing behind me. I wished that he would go home if the house were empty…I didn't want to be alone with him.

Yet, I did want to be with him. I'm just one big mush of contradictions. I used my house key to open the front door. We walked into a quiet, dim, empty house. "I'll stay with you until your parents get back." Trunks said. I tried to smile at him, but it came out weak. It must have looked like every smile that I made, because he said nothing about it.

I placed my bag on the couch in the living room, and sat down there as well. I didn't want to go to my room. It seemed safer in the living room. I flicked on the TV and flipped through the channels aimlessly. I wasn't even paying attention. I was listening to Trunks in the kitchen. I paused on the weather channel, where the Barbie doll anchor announced rain for tomorrow.

Of course there was rain tomorrow. I was supposed to bring in my application tomorrow. But now I can't. Trunks flopped down on the couch next to me. He must have not found anything to his liking in the fridge because he came empty handed.

As he sat next to me, and I felt his presence so close, I began to feel a terrible sorrow. I began to feel trapped. I felt like I was sitting by a ticking time bomb. My eyes became glassy with tears but I held them in.

_I was strong. _

Trunks swiveled his head around to look at me. He had felt the change in my energy. He's the only one who could detect emotional changes in people. It had always been a gift with him. I couldn't read his expression. He took the remote gently from my hands and pressed the red 'power' button at the top. The TV went black.

"I though we could get through this without bringing up painful things…But I guess not." He said, agitated. He was so _weird _with his moods. If he wore a mood ring I wouldn't be able to keep up with the colors.

But I could tell there was a constant battle between two kinds of people in Trunks. The good kind, and the bad kind.

"When we were young…" He began, unsure, "When we were young things began." He said. I watched him, not breathing at all.

"That's when I began to feel torn. Like people were pulling at both ends. I could never control…I could never stop the anger from flooding my sight. It happened for a long time Pan, I know. I'm sorry. But when those _thoughts_ started coming, I knew something had to be done-"

My parents pushed through the door, and Trunks stopped dead in what he was saying. I started to breath again, realizing that I hadn't been. Never before have I ever been so mad at my parents for being home.

**Author's Notes: There ya' have it. It's longer than usual. Not _super_ long, but about double of what I usually write. I'll write a nice long chapter next for the next one too…you know, to make up for my late-ness. Anywho, review! **


	14. Written Words I Refuse to Reveal

**Author's Notes: Oh my. It only took me an ETERNITY to update. I am sososososo sorry: **

**But here you go. I plan on keeping it going. And writing pretty regularly now! So review!**

Trunks left after chit-chat with my family. I cursed my parent's timing in my head over and over again. I was on the edge of the truth, and it had been pulled away so quickly. Answers were there, but it seemed time never wanted to reveal them to me. Trunks left my house with one unreadable glance my way.

That night I laid in my bed and ran a finger over the bruises on my hips. Dark purple and blue. In a way they were almost pretty. They adorned my pale body like identical tattoos. They were sore, but bareable. Like always I couldn't shut off my head and the thoughts consumed me like wildfire. Every time I looked at the clock it got later and later into the morning hours. I couldn't stop the yearning to have that job. I wanted it so bad. It would have made a nice escape, to work around the fantasy of books. I always loved to read. It was a hobby that I picked up only because Trunks liked to read. It was the only good thing he ever did for me back then.

Was Trunks defiant to let me work there because I'd be working with only one other man there? How absurd...But so very plausible. I groaned into my pillow. I had given up so much for Trunks...could I really give up this opportunity too?

_**I give until I don't know what getting feels like.**_

Morning came softly with a whisper of rain. I listened to what the rain was saying. Sleep, find peace. It was saying. So I slept all morning long. It was 1:00 PM when I finally dragged myself from my covers. I got ready in the empty house and tried to find various things to occupy me. But I seemed to have picked up the skill of multi-tasking. I could do anything and think of Trunks at the same time. But I also thought of that job...That job I wanted so damn bad...

Maybe I could test Trunks' new behavior. Maybe there was a way that I could see if his heart really is in the right place...

But was it wise to push him? My chest filled with confidence. He wanted me to be strong. So I would be strong. I would stand up.

I stopped on the sidewalk outside their house. I was slightly damp from the steady sprinkle of the rain. Nobody was home. Trunks was off doing who knows what, Bra was out shopping with her mother, and Vegita was off training. I had perfect timing. I walked over to their garage door. I flipped open the keypad that was concealed underneath a black box on the wall. I punched in the code 44134. The garage door lurched open, showcasing their beautiful cars. Luckily for me, Trunks chose to take a flashier car that day, and the sleek silver car sat off the right.

I pressed my face up against the glass and peered past the dark tent. I saw my ripped application. I tugged at the door handle, but it was locked. Duh. Would I have expected any less? But surely the keys were inside. I knew for a fact that the inside garage door that led to the inside of their house would be open. So I tiptoed inside and wandered to Trunks' room. Where would his spare keys be? I scanned the spotless room and bit my lip. Were would he keep important things? My eyes landed on the drawer beside his vast bed. I opened it slowly, as if I were expecting something to pop out of it and frighten me. But all I saw was a black leather bound notebook and the shining silver keys. Delighted, I gingerly picked them up. But I couldn't shut the drawer.

The notebook. What was it? I picked it up. It was heavy in my hands, and on the front was an unlocked clasp. I turned the clasp and opened the book. His elegant handwriting was scrawled across the pages. Every entry was dated. It was a journal.

I flipped through the pages. He has written so much. I made my way to the most present date, two days ago.

A vortex of contradictions. A mess of oxymorons that lead you into dark corridors. Her sweet pale face. Prettier frightened, or smiling? How could I let this get so out of hand? How could I deal with what I'm feeling in such a rash manner. Foolish. The both of us. Foolish, all of them for not noticing. I'm dangerous, I want to tell her to leave but I'm too selfish to say goodbye. Sometimes I feel like I could love her. Sometimes like I could hate her. And what has she ever done to me to deserve such treatment? Love me, that's what. I am so cruel. But I swear sometimes she wants it. She eggs me on. I see the ecstasy on her face-

I shut the book abruptly. No. I would not read it. Though I wanted to know his mind so bad, I could just see the anger on his features if he ever figured out I read his journal. I knew deep down that he would never know, but paranoia set in. What if he's watching me right now? I thought, but shook away the stupidity of it all. I placed the notebook back and took off for the garage again.

I searched through the keys until I found the right one. I unlocked the door and leaned into to get my paper. I took the keys back into Trunks' room and sat at the kitchen counter, taping the piece of paper back together. Thank goodness it was only in two pieces, rather than a hundred. I got a pen and began to fill it out.

It asked me standard questions and absurd ones. It asked me my name, my favorite book, my knowledge on the classics and so on and so forth. Once I read it over I realized I had a very good chance at being hired. In a way I was everything they were looking for. But could I really hand in the paper to the golden-haired angel that Trunks seemed to be so jealous of?

I need to be strong. So yes. I could. I would.

But I was drowning in my desire to go back to Trunks' room and read his journal...I wouldn't need to wait for him to tell me how he felt if I could just read it then. But I didn't know...


	15. Walk Away My Love

**Author's notes: Wow…been years. But I'm still not through! I'll finish this before I die, I promise you that xD**

It was an urge that overtook me. I sat at the counter, my application in hand, thinking of his journal. All the answers that I yearned for were all laid before me so neatly. I could easily open the notebook and read all his thoughts and feelings…

Maybe it would give me a clue to his anger. Maybe I could learn something so I could help him. I set my application down and sprinted to his room again. I threw open the drawer and leafed through the pages until I was back at that same entry;

She eggs me on. I see the ecstasy on her face as I ravish her body. But somehow I know that she doesn't really want it…all she wants is my attention and affection. She's like a puzzle that I can easily put together. I know how much she loves me and I take full advantage of her feelings. This can't go on forever. What if one day she finds another man…? I can't bear to think it. I know she loves ME, and she'll love ME and no one else. I'll make sure of it.

_But I have to control this malice that I have. I can't continue down this path because when my mind is clear I know I love her. I regret what I do but it's like I have a demon inside of my that rips and tears it's way to the surface-_

I went stiff. My eyes widened. Like icy fingers his energy wrapped around me. His aura constricted me. Fear found it's way through my flesh, soaking me in a dread I couldn't wish away. I didn't dare look over my shoulder at him.

"Pan." His voice was flat and hard like stone. I swallowed a lump in my throat. "Pan. Look. At. Me." He articulated slowly. Heaving a difficult breath, I turned to him. He stood in the doorway, my taped up application held out in front of him. "Trunks I-" I began but he held up his hand in a quick gesture to stop me. His rage was like a stormy sea in his bright blue eyes- I saw the waves tumble and crash against his mind. He was struggling to keep control.

He walked over slowly and pulled the notebook from my limp fingers. He placed it on his nightstand. He held the application before me and ripped it apart again. Except this time, he didn't stop until it looked like confetti. The tiny pieces fluttered to the floor like snow. I braced myself for his force. But he didn't strike me.

"How much did you read?" He asked in a deep voice. "Just-just a portion of the last chapter…just enough to learn that you love me." I whispered the last part, as if I were terrified of saying it out loud. He made no response. He didn't move. "Do you love me…Trunks?" I asked timidly, looking up at him.

"How can I love a girl who betrays my trust? How can I love a girl who invades my privacy? How can I love a girl who turns me into a MONSTER!" He roared and threw his journal across the room. I flinched but made no move to get out of the line of fire. "I'm sorry I read your journal, I just thought that maybe it'd help-"

He pushed me against the wall and held my face tightly in his hands, "YOU can't help ME. YOU make me like this!" He shouted. I crumbled in his grasp and he had to hold me up against the wall. I had no strength to hold myself up. I was tired and worn of this sort of thing. It'd be the death of me. I began to sob into his chest and twist my fingers into fists, holding handfuls of his shirt tightly. His tense body seemed to sway for a moment.

"Please stop! Please!" I pleaded. He stood, holding me up, stunned. I'd never reacted to him like this before. He didn't know what to do. His anger was still apparent, but my tears kept the fire at bay. "Why did you…why did you read my journal Pan? Why do you insist on being an idiot?" He said into my ear through clenched teeth.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I just want you to love me Trunks! Love me like I love you!" I sobbed louder. I felt him shift uncomfortably again. And then something happened that I never expected…

He wrapped his arms warmly around me and picked me up. He placed me on the bed as gently as his anger would allow, then he snatched the keys off his dresser and went to leave. "Where are you going?" I sniffled. "I'm going to go for a drive to cool down." He snapped and left.

I starred after him, stunned. Shocked. And unhurt.

Maybe the good Trunks has a chance after all.


	16. Foiled & Fought

I stayed in his room. Long after he left, I curled up on his neatly made bed and concentrated on my breathing to sooth my muddled mind. I couldn't even begin to untangle my thoughts, so I laid there blankly. Even after I heard the sounds of the Briefs coming home, I didn't leave. I listened as Bulma kissed Vegeta in a loving greeting, chatting incessantly about her busy workday. I laid there even as I heard Bra enter the house, giggly and overjoyed about her date. The walls allowed you to hear everything if you just stopped and listened close enough- so why hadn't anyone realized what Trunks and me were doing? Surely if they listened they could have known…

I don't know how long I laid there awake, but sleep eventually invaded my consciousness and I drifted away. I can't remember what I dreamed. I just remember that it was a nightmare.

Slowly, after what must have been hours of sleeping, I emerged from sleep. My eyes fluttered open and it took me a minute to remember where I was. Trunk's deep red wall was the first thing I saw. I rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand and sat up. I glanced at the clock. It was 3:00 in the morning. I gasped and went to jump out of the bed and out the door when I saw him. With only a pillow underneath his head, Trunks laid sprawled across the floor asleep.

My heart went into a panicked flutter, but I calmed myself. _''Chill out Pan."_ I told myself, _"He's okay…he worked out his anger…you'll be fine."_ The hardwood floor of his bedroom looked uncomfortable, and despite my better judgment about not messing with a sleeping bear, I pulled his black comforter from his bed and placed it over him. As I kneeled down beside him, I took in his sleeping face.

He looked peaceful and innocent. The tense muscles of his face were relaxed in a carefree manner. I felt a twinge in my heart for the image before me.

If only real life were like your dreamland…if only the serenity of sleep could stay with us while we wake.

I traced a finger from his temple to his chiseled jaw. I touched the silky mane of his long hair. He stirred in his sleep and I retracted my arm like a whip of lightening. But he remained sleeping. So I traced the fullness of his lips, brushed his eyelashes with my fingertips. All the simple little touches I could never normally do.

_A kiss on the forehead is one of the tenderest things…_I remembered my mother saying. I leaned forward and kissed him lightly on the forehead before standing and squeezing out of his room silently. I tiptoed through the hallway, trying to covertly sneak my way out of the house. I didn't want to explain anything to anyone, and I wasn't in the mood for any social interaction. I wanted to go home and hope for some miracle message from above to help me deal with this. I had my hand on the doorknob of the front door when I heard someone clear their throat loudly enough to catch my attention. I turned to look at Bra, who was eyeing me curiously. She was dressed in a matching pink sleeping set with a mug of milk in her hands. "It's 3 in the morning Pan, what are you doing here?" She asked groggily. I stood still and quiet a moment. My brain locked up, "Umm…" I began uncertainly, and trailed off lamely.

She sighed deeply and took a sip of milk, "You don't need to sneak around. I know you're here to see Trunks. Come on, stay the night." She said and took me by the arm and pulled me through the house and into her room. She set her mug down on her nightstand and crossed her arms over her chest, "Alright. Spill. I'm your best friend Pan. You owe me an explanation." She had a seriousness in her tone that was totally unlike her.

I went to open my mouth and speak, to find something to sedate Bra's curiosity, but I was saved from my lie when her bedroom window flew open. She twirled around to face the open window with a vexed expression flashing her features, "Goten! It's not a good _time-_" She tried to shoo him, but he pulled himself into the house despite her. Shocked, my eyes grew wide, "Wait…what's…?" I began to ask. Bra, exasperated, placed her hands on her hips and sighed, "You're not the only one who sneaks around Pan." She said. Her comment was more of a snap than anything. I stood quiet for a moment, digesting what was going on.

"You and Goten…are _together?_" I nearly gasped. "Well, we're kinda just-" Goten went to answer, but Bra quickly hit him to shut him up. "Let me explain." She said quickly, "We're dating."

"What about Erik?" I asked, confused. "Old news." She dismissed, waving her hand casually as if to flick away even the thought of him. I looked from her to him, back to her again. How surreal. "But this whole thing's beside the point- now tell me about you and Trunks. It's only fair."

"How's it fair?" I asked. "Because you know about me and Goten, isn't it only natural I know about you and Trunks now?" She rationalized, sitting on her bed and tucking her long legs underneath her in a comfortable position. I glanced at Goten, who was expectantly starring me down. His energy was high with curiosity. I guess Trunks had told him nothing. My heart began to bound against my ribcage, "I don't know what's going on between us…" I nearly whispered. Goten's face contorted into utter confusion. Bra eyed me sharply, "Well, what _do_ you know?" She questioned gently.

Agony swelled within me. There's a lot I could have truthfully said. I could have told them that Trunks hits me but loves me. I could have told them that I feared and revered him. I could have told them that I- that we- were insane.

I also could have told them I was dying inside.

But I didn't. Instead, I evaded the question. "I know…" I began, "that you and Goten have to be the weirdest couple on the face of the planet. I still can't believe it." I laughed nervously.

"You know what I think is weird?" Bra began, standing and walking slowly towards me. She placed two delicate fingers beneath my chin and looked me in the eyes, "That I have this feeling Pan. That I have this feeling that something isn't right. I sense it. There's a change in you. I know you enough to know that something's…different. And what's even weirder is that you won't talk to me about it. Whatever it is Pan, I'm here for you. Always have been. Always will. Friends forever. Nothing will change that." She softly said to me, looking into my eyes with a protective severity. I turned my face away from her and her hand fell to her side with a thud. I starred at the ground for a moment.

"Things are getting better Bra. Promise." I weakly smiled, though I wasn't looking at her. I couldn't. Things _were_ getting better though. Trunks was controlling his anger, so maybe the torture would cease and we could really be happy together…maybe we could have that peaceful bliss that other couples have.

"He hits you, doesn't he?" Bra nearly choked on the words. Goten tensed behind her. His hands balled into fists. The signs clicked in his brain. He put the pieces together. My eyes snapped to her worried face. My mouth fell open as if to speak, but all I could do was shake my head no. Bra shook her head too, but softly, "Don't lie to me." She ordered.

"No." I squeaked. "Pan…I know. I put two and two together-"

"No!" I shouted, "No no no NO! He's doing really good!" But as I spoke the words, pools of tears ran over from my eyes. Tears left trails down my face and I earnestly wiped them away, as if I could hide my sorrow. But my mask wasn't as strong as Trunks'. I could only pretend for so long.

Goten shot out of the room like a frenzied madman. His energy felt like another physical presence. He flew angrily down the hall and I ran after him, pulling at his broad arms and pleading for him to stop. He trucked forward. He flung open Trunks' door and the handle slammed into the wall.

Trunks' peaceful sleeping body shot up defensively and alarmed. First, he saw my distressed face. He instantly reached to comfort me, and my heart wrenched at his thoughtful effort. But he didn't reach me. Goten gripped his wrist painfully. Trunks looked at his friend bewildered.

Goten threw the first punch. Chaos ensued.


	17. Siuil a R'un

Trunks went stumbling back a few paces, taken by complete surprise. He clutched his stomach and look up at Goten through a screen of his silky, sleep-messy hair. Goten's face was a stone. His eyes burned with hurt more than anger. Trunks' face finally registered the situation. Goten knew. Trunks was found out. My fingers gripped the doorcasing, my nails embedding into the wood. Trunks slowly straightened to his full, intimidating height. His eyes grew darker. I watched as the two friends, glaring at one another like enemies. They were fierce monsters on the brink of their relationship's apocalypse.

"Stop!" Bra's voice boomed as she went to intervene. Neither listened. Goten's glare wavered for a second, as if remembering all the good times they had shared. "Why Trunks?" He simply asked against gritted teeth. Trunks didn't utter a word. He didn't know why. "WHY?" Goten asked again, shoving him in the shoulder. Trunks let his body sway backwards underneath Goten's shove, but he didn't speak.

"Dammit Trunks!" Goten roared, throwing all his weight into a punch that cracked against Trunks' jaw with a sickening sound. I shouted and jumped to reach Trunks, but Bra snapped me back and held me fast against her side. When Trunks looked at Goten again, a bloody path of crimson trickled from his lip and down his collarbone. He touched the blood and held his red fingers before his eyes, examining the essence of Goten's violence. He scrunched his hand into a fist and threw it right between Goten's eyes. He went flying back, and though I had scrambled out of his path soon enough, Bra was brought violently to the ground with him. She screamed in surprise as he toppled over her. Trunks advanced and roughly lifted Goten from his sister with a snatch of his collar. He threw Goten into the hallway, where he thudded against the wall.

Goten recovered quickly. He snapped back against the wall and rushed Trunks with dizzying force. They scrambled for a moment, than Goten's leg made contact with Trunks' side. He went flying down the hall. When he fell, he clutched his side for a moment before he shot back up again. Goten went to punch Trunks, but he easily evaded and swept his leg across Goten's, tripping him. Trunks had no time, because Goten quickly pulled him to the ground with him. They grappled and rolled in a power struggle that intensified by the second. Everything was happening so fast. A hit to the temple. A punch to the kidneys. A twist of an arm.

The hideous sounds of pain and combat flooded my mind. I watched helpless to the situation. Blood was being splattered and sprayed across the narrow walls of the hallway. The corner of Trunks' eye was swelling and bleeding. Goten's nose looked broken. They parted and jumped up from the ground. Two feet stood between them silently as they starred at one another, waiting for another advance. Trunks spit a puddle of blood than cracked his knuckles.

They would kill eachother.

Tension bubbled between them. Their chests heaved with weary breaths. But they were warriors in the moment. Adrenaline made them impervious to the pain. They felt nothing but excitement and hatred for one another. In a flash they both took to eachother's throats again. It was a flourish of evil before me and their bloodied bodies stumbled and tumbled into the living room. They knocked into Bulma's china cabinet, sending crystal and glass shattering against their skulls and against the hardwood. It was hard to discern their shapes in the dim nighttime darkness. They looked like shadows of hell in an eternal, dismal dance. Bra hid her pretty face in her hands as to shut out what was happening. I watched with fearful astonishment as they ripped eachother to pieces.

"That's it!" Trunks shouted in a rough, deep tone. "I'm done with this." And with those words the whole atmosphere seemed to change. The darkness seemed to thicken and weigh down on my body. The negative energy was drowning me. Trunks seemed to nearly glow with the anger inside of him. He reached out and snatched Goten by the throat, squeezing with every bit of rage in him. Goten struggled against his grip. He tore at Trunks' fingers, greedy for air. Trunks didn't relent; his face was set like a marble statue.

"Stop…" I said quietly at first. "STOP!" I shrieked as loud as I could, my voice going hoarse. Trunk's grip faltered for a second as the muscle in his forearm went lax, but just as quickly he regained his stranglehold. I ran to him, the dim moon sending gray shadows over my face as I passed the big picture windows of his home. I pressed myself against his back, wrapping my arms around him and sobbing into the hardened and defined muscles of his back. I was pressed against his fast beating heart and I heard it skip beats. A rush of air left his lungs and he let go of Goten, who fell to the ground gasping for breath.

He stood stone still as I sobbed against him. Bra went to Goten's side, nursing him and murmuring to him in a loving, tender way. The lights flicked on. Vegeta stood in the doorway to the living room, his face twisted in disgust. Trunks turned to me, breaking my hold on his torso, and brushed his fingers gently across my damp cheek. He brought his fingers to his lips and kissed my tears. Than he silently strode from the house, leaving us in his distorted wake.

**Author's Notes Okay, so I just wanted to take a second to thank everyone who is reviewing even after I had abandoned this story years ago! It reminds me how much I love writing this story & how much I **_**really**_** want to get it completed one of these days.**

**So, THANKS! **


	18. Runaway

"Trunks!" I desperately called after him. I jumped to follow him as he left, but Vegeta grabbed me by my wrist and snapped me back. I struggled against his grip, tears rolling off my cheeks. "Please…" I cried, prying at his fingers. Vegeta's face was hard as stone, "Don't be an idiot." He spat. I went limp and weak, fighting against the blackout hazing my vision. The smell of blood filled my brain, and the feel of it smeared across my arms burned my skin. I swayed and Vegeta held me up. Goten's fists were still tightly clenched as he sat up on the hardwood floor while Bra picked pieces of glass and crystal shards from his back. All of Bulma's things lay sprawled and destroyed across the living room. The panic engulfed me.

Trunks was no longer safely guarded by his secret. Everyone knew now.

"How could…this be…" The kindhearted Goten muttered from where he sat, beaten and ashamed. It tore at my heart. "I have to find him." I said, and jerked at Vegeta's grasp yet again. "Are you really so naïve?" Vegeta snapped. "Maybe I am!" I shouted, snapping everyone's head in my direction. I ripped my arm from Vegeta and stepped away from him, "Maybe I'm crazy, maybe I'm an idiot, but…but…" I wish I could have finished the sentence, but I couldn't. And just like Trunks, I stormed from the house.

I ran down the walkway and looked in each direction. He was nowhere to be found. But I knew if I concentrated, I could _feel_ him. I closed my eyes and took a few slow breaths in. Gradually, his energy became more apparent. He was heading away quickly, towards a remote part of town that was more woods than anything. I took off in that direction in a blurred flourish. Things flashed past me in a dizzying high-paced show. People, houses cars; they were all nonexistent to me as I hurried past. I thought nothing, just focused on the need to find him.

My lungs ached from my strenuous effort. My muscles burned as I pushed them past their normal limits. I couldn't really feel the pain though; I was drenched in emotion and I could only think of my destination. My heart skipped a beat when I felt his energy spike. I was closing in on him. What would I do…what would I say? I saw the forest up ahead and I broke through the treeline without a second thought. I weaved through trees and jumped over fallen trunks. Suddenly, I stopped. The intense, angry energy that had nearly suffocated me depleted. I tried to focus so I could pick up the anger he must have been feeling. But there was nothing to guide me.

My mind instantly began to race. Where was he? Why couldn't I sense him? It was as if our connection was totally severed. I began to slowly walk forward, now blindly picking a trail to venture forth on. He was somewhere close…I knew that. At first, all was quiet except for my own hushed footfalls. Soon, though, I picked up on a muffled noise. I honed in on it and raced down the trail to its source. At the bank of dwindling little river sat Trunks Briefs, head in hands. And crying.

He didn't notice when I walked silently behind him. I looked down upon him and my soul plummeted at what I saw. His knuckles were bloodied and bruised from the fight & his clothes were in disarray. His fingers gripped his temples as he sobbed into his open palms. I had never, ever seen Trunks cry. I had never even seen him on the verge of any kind of emotion like sorrow. It was always anger. This was entirely new to me- I had never seen him so vulnerable. His cries weren't sniffles and muffled moans either. They were intense sobs that cut through the night like a terrible beast. His shoulders shook, and he choked on his tears. His pitiful and fragile state was enough to make me cry. I kneeled down beside him and wrapped my arms around his shoulders, pulling him to me. He stiffened and his muscles locked up in surprise but he didn't pull away. I ran my fingers through his hair and wiped the tears from his eyes.

"I…can't go back, Pan." He said. His voice was hoarse and rough like sandpaper. "What do you mean?" I asked. He took in a shaky breath, pulling away from my embrace. He squared his shoulders and stood straighter, composing himself. His sorrowful face hardened again and he turned to me, his eyes still red. "I am not going back home. I can't."

"Than where are you going…?" I asked confused. "I'm leaving. And you're coming with me." He announced. Baffled, I starred at him silently. He cupped his hands and dipped them into the river, than splashed his face with the cool water. He wiped his face on his sleeve than absently looked out into the forest. "It's like a new start." He stated. "But what about your family?" I desperately questioned. He turned his face from me and his voice grew hollow and dark, "Did you not just see what happened? I nearly killed my best friend, destroyed my mother's house _while_ my father watched, and abused my kid sister's best friend. I don't think they'll miss me. But that's okay, because I still have you."

I stopped breathing. Could I really leave with him? Did I love him enough to leave everything and everyone behind just so he could run away from his problems? But the even bigger question was…if I left with him, would he truly change? Or would everything be the same with just a change of scenery? "Trunks, I love you. By God I love you more than anything on this planet. But I cannot go." I breathed out in a near whisper. His eyes shot to me, hurt and frustration lighting them up like a candle. "What?" He asked. "I need to go back to my family. You should, too. We can straighten this out. I'll lie, whatever it takes. But we can't run away. This won't end this way, you can't run away from it."

He raised his hand and it came down hard across my face. The sound of the back of his hand striking my cheek echoed through the forest. My face was on fire, but I remained deathly still. His hand went limp at his side. "Don't be stupid. Let's go." He ordered and stalked off along the bank. For a few moments I just watched him go, leaving footprints in the sugary white sand of the bank. Than, as if on their own, my feet began to move toward him. My body felt heavy and weak as I trudged forward, obeying the command of the man who owned my heart and soul.

"Where are we going?" I asked meekly. "I don't know. We'll find somewhere." He answered curtly. He reached back and took my hand in his, wrapping his fingers protectively around mine.

I laid curled up on the strange, stiff motel mattress and stared at the back of Trunks as he fervently wrote across blank pages of loose notebook paper. He sat straight-backed in the chair, a coffee sitting on the table in front of him and his cell phone turned off next to his cup. It was a small, temporary room. It smelled faintly of mildew but it looked clean enough. I didn't know what he had planned. But he had something figured out, I knew that.

"Do you think they'll come looking for us?" I asked quietly. His pen stopped scratching across the paper but he continued to stare at it. "They may come for you. We'll be long gone by then." And with his quick response, his full attention was turned back to whatever he was writing. "Trunks…"

He set down his pen now. He sighed a sigh that bordered on a agitated growl, "Yes?" He asked, turning in his seat to look at me. "Tell me that you love me." I whispered. His features didn't change. His expression was fixed to his face and unmoving. "Tell me I'm doing this for love- not for fear."

"You're doing this for love Pan."


	19. Off we go

The groggy morning hours put a veil over me. It seemed like a dream as I watched Trunks pace and pick up his cell phone time and time again; calling for tickets to some place I didn't catch as he said it. "Two tickets to _blank_-" is all I heard, "...a taxi when we land...change the adress....Trunks Briefs, credit card number 7532..." And the rest was nothing but _blank_.

I tossed a lot, the covers twisting around my body. I clutched the pillow tightly and hugged it to comfort me. I pressed my face into the fabric to try and block out any pain I was feeling within my heart. I just wanted to sleep and forget about what was happening...forget the fact I was leaving my family behind for a madman. This was not a romantic story of two lovers eloping and spending happily ever after together. I don't know what the hell it was. But I was being led by this notion that my love for him was all that I had in life, and all that I ever needed.

I don't know how long it took, but eventually Trunks seemed to settle down. I had my eyes shut, pressed against the pillow, but my half-conscious mind felt his energy wane and I heard him yawn. I felt the bed sink under his weight as he climbed in next to me. He gently pulled the pillow from my iron grasp and replaced it with his body. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me tight against his chest. I nestled into his shirt and a spasm of chills rolled down my spine.

This is all I ever wanted. To be held by him. I was so exhausted from our day of running away that I hardly even grasped the fact that I was so lovingly cuddled. I tried to calculate how the backhand to my face could transform into this tender affection. But I just wanted to sleepily relish the moment.

When morning came I woke up to empty sheets. Trunks was in the shower, the bathroom door swung wide open and steaming rolling out. I sat up and stretched. His scent was all over the bed and I took in a lung full of air. I stood up and swayed with momentary dizziness. I shuffled across the patterned carpet and lazily leaned against the door casing of the bathroom, looking through the fog of steam. He wasn't facing me, and I was glad. I didn't want him to know that I was awake. I just wanted to see him; to admire the god of a man that I followed even in such uncertainties. His form was hazy, partly from my sleepy eyes and partly from the steam. But even so, his back was an expanse of rippling muscle under taunt, perfect skin.

His broad shoulders were glistening and powerful. He was beautiful. It was like I was dreaming and he was far away. Very far away- untouchable and faultless. A mix of emotions welled in my stomach and anxiety tickled my spine with chills. I gripped the wooden casing and bit my lip. And there I was, at this ending and beginning of all things in my life.

Then a knock at the door snapped me out of my half-delirium. Trunks turned to the door and caught me there, watching him. His mouth fell open slightly, but then he looked past me. I turned, too, to look at the front door. He pushed open the glass shower door and stepped onto the tile, droplets of water racing down the divots in his muscles and creating little puddles on the floor. He snapped a pair of pants off the counter where he laid them and pulled them on.

He was still soaking wet and lovely as he briskly walked past me. He looked through the peep hole and stood absolutely still. I mirrored him and held my breath. He looked back at me, "You answer it." He snapped and walked back into the bathroom, where he shut the door.

I unhooked the latch and opened the door to see an older woman standing there with fresh towels and little shampoo bottles. I exhaled in relief and thanked her. I placed the towels on the dresser and sat at the edge of the bed, waiting. I had showered the night before and my hair fell around my shoulders in soft, dark tendrils. I ran my fingers through the locks and separated the tangles.

I looked absently at the dull artwork on the walls, thinking. Trunks emerged from the bathroom and glanced at me before he walked to the little table by the window. He pocketed his cell phone and wallet. "Go get ready. We're leaving." He said. I obeyed. I brushed my teeth, changed, all the normal things.

We barely spoke at all as we rode to the airport in the back of a taxi. He starred out the window mostly, absent. He was very out of character. He must have been feeling the same pain I felt. Or, something like it. We were leaving everyone behind. Everyone we loved, except for each other. I wanted to reach out and touch him. I wanted to grab his hand and ask him how he felt. But I was too afraid to touch him, in case his fiery anger made another appearance.

So I was silent. As we boarded the small plane, as we rode through the air…total silence. His face was placid and expressionless. I was dying inside. I wanted to speak. So as we sat in the plane after it grounded, waiting for the OK to get off, I turned to him and finally asked the question that was burning in my mind.

"Where are we?" I nearly whispered. His eyes shot to me in the quickest of glances, "A place that I used to come to when I was young. I came here to train. Solitude is what a warrior needs, my dad used to say."

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused. "You'll see." Was all he said. I did understand, after we pulled up to the front of the place in the new rental car. It was the old lodge that Vegeta had built for solitary training. The house was long forgotten after Trunks had finished his initial training. It was just one of the many, many houses that the Brief's owned.

The thing that made it perfect for us was that it was literally in the middle of no where. Huge trees towered around the wooden building as if to hide it from the rest of the world. It was a beautiful hidden treasure. It had a rustic ambiance to it. It was a unique mansion.

"Your parents own this. Won't they look here…?" I asked meekly. Trunks put down our luggage in the living room and shook his head, "They would never guess to search their own property. They'd look in hotels and rented places that I could buy. Besides, no one has been here in almost a decade. We're safe." He said and turned to walk down the hall.

I looked around at the place. It was fully furnished and eloquently built. I liked it well enough, but I felt awkward there. I belonged at my little house with my mother and father, in my little blue room with my mother's cooking wafting through the house like a homey perfume.

Trunks had left his cell phone on the coffee table. It lit up and vibrated. I stared at it for a moment. Goten's name flashed on the screen. I reached out quickly and held the phone in my hand. I stared at it desperately. I looked down the hall. I didn't know when Trunks would come back or emerge from one of the rooms. So I just stared, too frozen with fear to press the answer button. Moments after it had stopped ringing, his voicemail icon was blinking. Goten had left a message.

My heart was pounding, but I turned from the hallway and called his voicemail.

"_Trunks…" _The message began. Goten's voice was pained and strained. It hit me with a sudden sorrow. _"Where is Pan? Please, bring her back. I swear that there won't be trouble, just bring her back. Don't you think you've caused her enough pain already?"_

I don't know how I didn't feel him before, but suddenly I felt Trunks' energy behind me. He stood, just inches from my back, listening. I tensed and dropped the phone. It thudded to the ground. All I could hear was Trunks' deep breathing. He was angry, but I didn't know how angry. Slowly, I turned to him. His eyes were dark and fierce.

"Pick it up." He growled. I bent down and picked up the phone. He snatched it from me and pushed me back. I fell back onto the coffee table, and one of the wood corners gouged into my side. I rolled off of the table and gripped my side in pain. It was a sharp, brutal stab and I fought to not cry out. He stood over me for a second before he reached down and roughly pulled me to my feet. I thought he would strike me again, but he just stood before me. "Don't answer my phone." He said. His voice was like a rumble of thunder. I nodded dumbly.

He turned to leave, but looked over his shoulder at me. "I didn't mean to make you hit the table." He said. I nodded again at his uncomfortable half-apology and my hand went to my side, where I squeezed the developing bruise to numb the pain of it. "Our room is down the hall. I'm going to the store to get us food. Stay here. The TVs work, but the computer has no internet." He said and grabbed the keys to the sleek black Lexus he rented. No internet, no email. No contact with anyone at all. I nodded.

He seemed to think deeply for a moment before he walked briskly over to me and kissed my cheek. He left the house before I could react.


	20. Shattered

He was gone for a long time. I sat blankly staring at the television. I wanted to think of how I could fix this all…how I could make it better. But what could I have done? There was nothing and I felt powerless. So I just sat with hardly a thought passing through my head. Except for one. One that gave me hope and made me fear all at once.

Goten would not stop looking for me. He would not give up, and with a Sayan's tracking abilities and energy honing skills, we couldn't hide for long. I knew Trunks would know this. What was his plan? I laid back into the soft cushions of the couch and sank into the fabric. I wanted to disappear. Then I wouldn't have to pick between the love of my life and my family.

A couple hours passed. My stomach was starting to twist with hunger. Finally, he came home. I saw the car pull up through the front window, but I didn't get up to open the door. I sat in the same exact spot and waited as he walked in with his arms full of bags. He dumped some of them on the coffee table and took the food to the kitchen. "Those are for you." He called over his shoulder.

Curious, and hesitant, I began poking through the merchandise. The bags were filled with essentials. Hair brushes, pants, pajamas, socks. Everything I left back at home was replaced. Somehow, he knew my exact sizes and tastes in everything. I held the pants up to my waist and wondered just how closely he had paid attention to me all these years. Even my bra size was exact.

He was watching me from the kitchen doorway. "Do you like it all?" He asked. He didn't need to ask—he knew I would. I nodded and mumbled my thanks shyly. "Here." He said, and threw me a pair of sweat pants. I looked at him quizzically.

"We're going to train. You never know when we have to fight." I bit my lip. "I don't want to fight." I said softly. I knew what he meant; he meant fighting my family so I could stay with him. I could never bring myself to even think it. "We have to fight Pan, for each other." He answered and turned from me. I heard him opening the pantry and the fridge and knew he was cooking. I stood in the living room, unable to move.

So his plan was to fight. For the rest of our lives. He knows Goten will find us. And he intends to beat him to a pulp again. And perhaps again. And again. Until he could claim me fully and have no more opposition. I would train with him, but I could never fight Goten, ever. We were so close growing up. The thought of Goten as an enemy was strange and impossible.

I made my way to the bathroom were I changed and pulled my silken, dark hair into a ponytail. Training might be good, if only to let out some steam. When I walked into the kitchen I saw Trunks standing over a huge pot of bubbling liquid. It was yellow and boiled to the very brim. I could smell ginger perforating my sense and making me cough at the over powering odor.

Trunks smirked at me, "Ginger's a nice smell, if you ask me."

"A faint scent, maybe. But this is…too much." I said as I held my sweatshirt sleeve up to my nose. He chuckled lightly and continued to chop up little roots into tiny chunks. "I'm making an herbal tea that'll enhance our training sessions."

I frowned.

"What?" he asked, "Were you expecting filet minion?"

"Would have been nice." I laughed.

"This will be all the nourishment we need." He answered. Somehow, my empty stomach doubted that. But I just nodded. Trunks knew a lot more about these things then I did. Sometimes I felt inferior to him…like his brilliance made me dull.

He filled up two giant glasses with his tea and handed one to me. I stared for a moment before I made myself reach out and take it. "Hold your breath while you drink it, it'll help." He said as he threw back his drink. He downed it in just a couple seconds. I could see the corners of his eyes squelch up in distaste, but he finished it like a man. I tried to do the same, but coughed and choked half-way through the drink.

It actually worked. I felt my adrenaline start racing as I stood across from Trunks on the interior training mats. He stretched and bounced around to get his blood flowing. "Ready?" He asked. Something in his voice sounded sinister…It sent shivers down my spine. I nodded; my muscles tense. Honestly, I had always avoided training with Trunks. Our violence was always behind closed doors, and very real.

He shot at me quickly and I was able to dodge at the last second. He wheeled around with a high kick. I blocked with two open palms. The smack of his foot against my hands stung, but I stood strong and avoided a short jab. I threw a punch straight towards his chin, but he grabbed my forearm and tossed me aside. I gained my footing and shot back to him with a hook.

He blocked and hit me right on the cheek with an explosive elbow.

What I did next was a blur.

I felt…something new inside my lungs. It burned and made my whole body hot. I felt my fingers flex and ball into fists. I flew at him at top speed, connecting my shin right into his temple. He stumbled backwards. But I didn't stop there. While he was unstable and reeling from the kick, I threw lighting fast punches that connected to his skin with sickening smacks. His face was bloodied and swelling.

I felt myself falling into a whirlwind of revenge. As he stumbled, I kept punching. I was putting every last bit of energy into every punch, and I knew I was afflicting critical damage. Just as I thought that I could knock him out, he reached out and grabbed my fist mid-air. I stopped in horror.

Looking at his bloodied, bruised face, I wondered how I had lost it. My composure snapped. Shock and anger was flaring in Trunk's eyes and his grip on my fist was so tight I thought he would break my fingers. "What is wrong with you?" He demanded, "Are you insane!"

The blood from his cheek and nose were trailing down his collarbone in a river. I stood panting, and I whimpered in pain as my stiff fingers popped under his grip. He broke my hand; I knew it. I cried out in pain. I could feel my hand swelling under his grip.

"What the hell were you doing?!" He demanded a response from me. "I-I don't know! Please let go of my hand!" I cried. He finally let go of my hand and I clenched it to my chest. Trunks touched his wound on his cheek and looked at the blood on the tips of his fingers. "Look at my face! This is not training! You lost it Pan! You went berserk!"

I was still panting and I took a step back from him. I honestly couldn't answer him. It was like, when I landed that first hit, I couldn't stop myself. I felt a relief and an easing of my revenge with every punch. It was like justification. I was finally letting him feel my pain.

He wiped the blood that was running down into his eyes and hissed a growl as he turned away from me and left me on the mats by myself. When he was out of sight I fell to my knees and clutched my hand to myself in pain, holding back my weak tears. Eventually my whole arm was shaking and swollen up to my elbow, and I snuck my way back into the house. Trunks was nowhere to be found and the whole place was as silent as the grave.

I searched every cabinet and door for a first aid kit but couldn't find one anywhere. In frustration I fell on the tiled floor of the kitchen below the drawers and sat there, trying not to think of the pain searing my arm and hand.

About half an hour later, I heard Trunks' footsteps approaching. I wanted to crawl away and find a place to hide. But I sat still, afraid the pain would sharpen if I moved. He rounded to the corner and looked at me with a sideways glance. He had seemed to stitch his face up himself. It looked pretty good, and he was no longer bleeding. As a supernatural being, you had to know how to nurse yourself.

However, broken bones were another story. He slowly walked over to me and kneeled at my side. I looked at him through the haze of pain. The tea was wearing off and whatever herbs he had thrown in there had dulled my pain up until now. "What happened." He stated the question flatly.

"I don't know." I answered weakly, "I just…totally blanked out and…" I cut my sentence short. A backhand came crashing down on my cheek and I felt a trickle of blood escape the corner of my mouth. My head turned sideways at the force of the blow and I didn't look back to him. I stared at the tile. "Wait here." He ordered and left briskly. I didn't wipe the blood from my mouth. I didn't care anymore.

All life was pain. Everything.

He came back with a box. He opened it and it was filled with first aid supplies. "Let's get you off the floor." He mumbled. He scooped me up and laid me on the nearest couch. I sank down and sighed at the feeling of the softness. He set out his supplies on the coffee table and spread it out like a surgeon's tray. He picked up my arm and I winced. He was gentle, but any pressure at all ached.

He frowned and his silky hair fell around his face. He brushed it away and examined my arm. He tried to bend my elbow and I cried out. His eyes locked on mine and I believe we both had a similar look on our faces; regret, sorrow…we even shared a bit of anger. Because I _was_ angry at him. But we both knew the love there too. Underneath it all—love. They say love and hate can be the same thing. I knew it to be true.

"It's…shattered." He sighed. He just looked at it. It was swollen and red. He set my arm down, "There isn't much I can do." He nearly whispered, "I have to take you to the hospital."

One squeeze of Trunks' hand and my whole forearm shattered like glass. His strength was amazing and terrifying. The few stitches I gave him was nothing. He could have killed me, many times over. "I don't want to go to the hospital." I whispered.

"You have to." He answered as he was putting away the kit.

"Just wrap it up." I said, "It'll be okay…I'm a Sayan, remember?"

He smiled a little bit, "Nobody's indestructible." He brushed some hair away from my forehead.

"Listen Trunks, whatever happened out there I'm sorry-" I began but he stopped me on a dime, "Do not ever apologize to me Pan, ever." He said, "Ever." He took my good hand and touched them to the stitches on his forehead, "I…I deserved this." He admitted.

Suddenly, as I sat speechless, Trunks' mouth dropped open.

"How could he have found us so soon…?" Trunks said softly, amazed. I went to ask what he meant when a wall of energy hit me.

"Goten."


	21. Conditions Apply

"What do we do…?" I asked, afraid to hear his answer. I could feel my heart pushing the blood through my veins. I could feel it quicken as if it wanted to burst out of my chest. I began to panic, but pressed my lips together in an effort to calm myself. The pain in my arm was hazing my senses and I felt like I was falling into a sort of delirium. Trunks turned from me quickly.

"This place is meant, not only for training, but as a fortress as well." He said and strode to a wall farthest to my left. What I thought had been a fuse box, was actually a means to armor the house. "Thanks to my mother's ingenious technological skills, we'll be safe." He hit a few things on a small, blue touch-screen and an electronic grinding noise made me jump. Slowly, the windows were being covered by large sheets of metal. Everything from the outside world was blocked out. Trunks then moved to the doors, locking them.

"Trunks, a door won't stop him." I protested weakly. A very sly, disturbing smile crept onto his lips. "Ah, yes. But a door made out of metal so strong, even _I _can't break it down. Not even super-sayian."

I watched, barely able think straight. The pain throbbed through my body like a drum. A throbbing so painful, I was gritting my teeth. Trunks finished locking down the house and stood in the living room, his fists clenched tightly. Even he must have known that we couldn't stay here forever. His jaw was clenched and I could tell that he hated the idea of hiding. He hated the idea of backing down from a fight.

"This way…" He began, glancing at me over his shoulder, "This way I don't have to hurt him again…and you won't have to watch."

I sat motionless. He was avoiding conflict for me. He didn't want to upset me. I could feel the tears rising to my eyes and I fought them back with a gulp. They were tears of pain, tears of frustration, and tears of the beaten. I couldn't do this. I couldn't continue living this way. My world was like a painting that has been smeared before the paint is dry. I cannot tell who I am, or what I was meant to be.

I cannot tell who I love, or where I should go. I felt oddly empty. As if I had no soul anymore. I could feel the hot tears spill down my cheeks but I knew my face was blank. I closed my eyes. I wanted life to be over. I wish that I could die.

Trunks hadn't seen me. He was facing the blocked window, feeling Goten's energy approach closer and closer. I stumbled to my feet and walked into the kitchen slowly. What would I do if Goten actually got in? If he could rip the metal from the windows and reach for me? Would I take his hand? Would I look for Trunks to rescue me?

I placed my forehead on the cool stainless steel of the fridge. I let the coolness breach the fever in my mind. I felt Goten approaching as well. And I felt my arm, searing with pain. Trunks silently entered the kitchen behind me and just looked at me. We stood silently, letting the gravity of the situation hang in the air.

"This is what you want me to do right? You don't want me to fight?" He asked uncertainly.

"No, I don't want you to fight. I want…" But I choked on my words and looked away. His face contorted into confusion and agony. Of all things in the world all I thought was;

_God, he is beautiful. So pretty in pain._

"I wish…I wish this were different, Pan. I wish that we could start over, in a different world. We could be together and our whole family would have shown up for our wedding, and Goten would have been my best man. You…wouldn't be afraid of me. And I wouldn't be afraid of you."

"Afraid of me…?" I asked, confused. He chuckled darkly, "Yes. I was always afraid of your love. I don't know how to explain it." He admitted sheepishly. I just nodded, as if I understood. I pictured myself in a gown on our wedding day, everyone smiling. But I would never have that now.

"But you didn't pay attention to the most important part." Trunks protested gently. I just looked at him blankly, unsure what he meant.

"That I want to marry you, Pan. I want a family with you. I want to get married and start all over again in some new place, and make everything right." He said.

"Why are you saying this now?" I nearly cried.

"I want you to promise me your hand before Goten gets here, so no matter what happens I know you're mine. No matter if he makes it in here and we fight. No matter if Goten is gone."

I honestly felt my heart stop. I thought I was dying, as if my blood would never run again. I was tongue-tied. _If Goten were gone…?_ Hollow dread filled me, and also a thrill of exhilaration. The two parts of my soul were fighting. Would I marry him, far far away? _Could_ I? Even if something happened to Goten?

"Trunks I…" My voice faded away from me. We were being swallowed by the force of Goten's angry energy. But I stood a little straighter and looked him right in the eye, "I would marry you, Trunks. I would marry you under one condition."

He steadily looked at me, as if he were afraid to ask the condition, as if he wished he could just conk me on the head and drag me into his cave like in pre-historic times and marry me anyway. But he nodded ascent, and bade me to continue.

"You let me speak to Goten when he gets here, and I will leave with you, where ever you go. We'll marry, and forget this life we've lived until this point." I felt my voice waver, but I was firm.

"You can't talk to him he'll-" He began, but I shook my head, "I will. I will or I will leave with him and go back home to my mother and the rest of my family." I threatened. I felt a little bravery growing in my heart. I never looked away, but rather right into his eyes. He dropped his head and bit his lip, "I suppose I have no choice then." He said in a low voice. I knew he was trying to control his anger.

I knew he was itching to grab me and make me agree with him, with force. But he composed himself. "Then you better get outside, he's almost here."

I walked through the front door and stood out on the lawn. I squinted towards the sky and saw Goten as a tiny figure among the clouds. I steadied my breathing as he approached and managed a half-smile as he landed next to me. His face was contorted in a mix of emotions. Glad to see me, but pissed as all hell that Trunks was in the house behind me.

I took him into a tight hug and I felt him hug me back just as tightly. "I'm so glad you're okay." He said in a sigh. I knew that he was looking at the house behind me though. He was thinking of none other than beating the life out of Trunks. I gently pushed him away and looked at him. He noticed that I was about to say something and let go of me.

"Goten, you must go." I said tightly. Astonishment showed on his face and before he could speak I continued, "I know what you're thinking. But I have decided. I'm going with Trunks no matter what anyone says. We're…we're getting married. Thank you for your concern, but leave."

It took everything in my power not to weep in his arms and tell him how much I would miss him and everyone else at home. But I needed to convince him that I w_anted_ this. I needed him to see, without doubt, that I had made up my mind.

"Are you crazy! NO! YOU ARE COMING WITH ME NOW PAN!" And he grabbed my arm. Without thinking I cried out in pain. Goten flinched back, "My god what happened to you?" He asked. He gently took my hand in his and saw at once that it was crushed and swelling to monumental size. He got so red in the face with anger I thought he would implode.

"TRUNKS!" He screamed at the front of the house, "COME OUT HERE NOW!"

But I grabbed him with my good hand, "Goten, he didn't do this to me!" I lied, "It was an accident. I slipped in some water and fell on my hand…"

"You're lying. You're lying to save him. Why?" He yelled at me. His anger was righteous. His anger was understandable. I shook my head. "It's true, I did. And I'm getting married to him. If you fight him, I will fight you too. I will not go with you Goten, and you can't force me."

"The hell I can't!" He retorted, "We love you, not like he loves you, we actually care for you. And I promised your mother I would bring you home no matter what." He went to pick me up but I jumped away. "Don't follow us Goten. I don't want you to. Let us live in peace, and remember us as we used to be. Tell my mom…tell my mom I'm okay."

And I ran back to the house as fast as I could. I slammed the door behind me and locked the heavy lock. The click it made sealed my fate. I was trapped with Trunks. Forever.

He looked at me with an expression I couldn't read. I walked slowly towards him and let my head fall on his shoulder. His arms snaked around me. And then we could hear Goten, beating on the metal of the windows. It was loud, and rang through the house. I didn't want to hear it. I pushed myself closer to trunks, in an effort to dispel the sound from my mind.

All night, and finally he had left. He wasn't far. He was waiting for us to leave the house, and was waiting somewhere near the small town outside of the forest. I was finally able to let myself lie down, but the sound of Goten pounding on the windows was still in my head.

I pulled the blanket over my head and tried to think of trivial things. I could feel the bed move where Trunks sat beside me.

"So tell me what you want you're wedding to be like. Whatever you want, its yours." He said softly. I thought for a minute. I wanted my family there. But I pushed that from my head.

"I want…I want a wedding on the beach, when the moon is full and the tide is coming in around our feet. I want there to be little lights in the palm trees, like fireflies. And I want blue spring gentian flowers everywhere. I want to spend our honeymoon far away somewhere, where no one knows us and I can forget my name. Like somewhere in India, or maybe London. Doesn't matter."

"I can do that." He said simply. And I felt his hand trail up my leg and rest on my hip. I tensed slightly. He moved closer and still I didn't move. He turned my head and kissed me, very softly at first. But I knew what was behind it. A current of need and want was underneath his caress. I could already feel my arm healing, thanks to my saiyan blood, but it still pained me and I bit back my protests.

I saw his eyes cloud over and remembered the look of them clearly. It was the eyes of the man who would attack me and take me like a madman. He pulled back my covers and quickly went to pull down my pants. I didn't move; I knew better. He grabbed onto my hips with both hands and his fingertips bit into my flesh. I let him finish and to my surprise he didn't hurt me. But I knew he didn't do it with tenderness and affection. He laid ontop of me and buried his face into my neck. I ran my fingers through his hair and thought about what would come next.

How could we leave with Goten so near? How could we ever live happily ever after?


	22. Sapphire Messages

_ I knew I was dreaming. I could tell by the way my hands felt weightless and the edges of objects were fuzzy and undefined. I was sitting on my couch back at home, the sunlight streaming through the windows and warming my skin. Trunks appeared in the doorway to the kitchen. His demeanor was relaxed, his fingers languidly entwined in his beltloops. His silken hair had fell over one of his eyes. He was appraising me, looking at me thoughtfully. _

_ I reached for him, bidding him to my side. I could feel the easy smile on my face. It felt natural to smile so casually in his presence. He entered the living room and slowly approached me._

_ "Pan?" He asked, almost embarrassed. I turned my head to the side, seeing him differently suddenly. The closer he came, the younger I realized he was. 14? At the most? I suddenly noticed that I, too, was younger. We were at the beginning._

_ "Yeah?" I asked, uncertainty clouding my voice. _

_ "When I told you I loved you…" He began, and had to look at the ground before he could continue, "I didn't mean it." _

_ "But…" I went to protest._

_ "But nothing! You think you're the only girl I've been with? I only said it to sleep with you." He retorted unkindly. I was shocked by his words but knew they weren't true. He was a virgin when we first slept together, and I knew it. He could deny it all he wanted, but I knew the truth._

_ "I have your innocence. And you'll never get it back." He sneered._

I awoke from the memory in a dream to cold sheets. My skin prickled with goosebumps but I shut my eyes tight, willing myself to go back to sleep. Unfortunately, my stomach had a different idea. It lurched with hunger and I curled into a ball to make it stop. Eventually, when I tired of my stomach turning knots, I sat up and rubbed my eyes. The room was barren. Our bags where all packed. I kicked the covers off myself and cursed Trunks. He never kept me in the loop and I'd like to know the plan of escape and exactly where he intended on us going.

I held my arm in front of my face and examined it. The swelling had decreased and the redness had died down somewhat. As long as I didn't displace any of the fragments by keeping it as still as possible, it should heal fine. I swung my legs over the bed and listened hard for Trunks anywhere in the house. I couldn't hear him. But I felt him.

I ran my fingers through my knotted hair and went to go find him. _Maybe if we find the dragonballs,_ I began to think as I roamed the corridors, _we can wish all of this never happened._

Trunks was in an office sitting at a large mahogany desk writing in his journal. He didn't look up as I entered. I stood respectively in the doorway at first, but walked to the edge of the desk once I realized that he wasn't going to acknowledge me. I ran a finger along the edge of the wood, biting my lip and not knowing what to say.

"There's plenty of food in the kitchen," He said not looking up from the pages of his journal, "I know you must be very hungry." I nodded, but didn't move.

"I see we're going somewhere." I said instead, cautiously stealing a glance at his focused face. Reluctantly he set down his pen and finally looked at me. "Where?" I simply asked.

"To a beach."

I nodded again. I looked at my bare finger on my left hand. He noticed.

"I…have a ring for you." He cleared his throat and opened a drawer. "I was hoping to do something more…romantic. But our time and materials are numbered, due to certain people following us." He pulled out a black velvet box and stood up to come stand next to me. He placed it in my hand and it took me a moment before I opened it.

I swallowed a gasp. It was a huge circular diamond, surrounded by sapphires that made it look like petals of a flower. Sapphires were my favorite stone. He slipped it on my finger and it fit perfectly. Before I could react he walked back to his side of the desk again and sat back down before his journal.

"I was thinking that you should read this." He motioned to the book opened before him. Shocked, I opened my mouth to question but he cut me off once more, "So maybe you can understand why I've acted the way I've acted. Or at least, see my half of this insane situation. I know I was angry at you reading it before…but we're going to be married. And I want you to know me Pan."

"I don't-" I began but he pushed the journal to me. "Take it to our room and read it. All of it. And then I'll know." He said very quietly.

"You'll know what?" I asked picking the book up carefully, as if I were afraid that It'd burn me.

"I'll just know."

I knew that was my cue to leave, so I shut the book and left the office without another word. I stopped in the kitchen for a sandwich. I crawled back into the bed and pulled the covers around my cold feet. I twisted my hair into a quick braid and took a deep breath. I opened the cover. The sandwich I set next to me was quickly forgotten as I was completely engulfed in Trunks' world.

_June 8__th_

_ I really don't know where to begin. I guess the only reason I'm writing in here is because I heard that keeping a journal can help. And if there's anything I know, it's that I need help. Pan and I, we just made love for the first time. And I don't know how I feel. We were just sitting outside, next to the pond. We were swimming and laughing and when we got out of the water and sat on the bank I looked over and there was Pan, in a bikini with water trailing down her skin. She looked like a water nymph, her hair trailing down her back in wet tendrils…_

_ I knew that I liked her before, but something about the way the sun shone behind her and made her sort of glow. I just reached out and touched her shoulder, very gently, and the world seemed to explode. She turned to me and I pushed my lips to hers. She was still at first, as if she was afraid of breaking apart from me. But moved closer and tangled my fingers in her hair. We fell back into the damp ground and I couldn't help myself. _

_ I told her I loved her. I told her she was beautiful and that everyone knew we'd marry each other anyway. But she didn't need convincing. She loves me. I wasn't sure if I really loved her when I said it, but when I finally was able to have her, I knew I did._

I stopped reading for a second. I remembered this day. I trailed my finger across the scrawled letters. He was such a descriptive writer. His genius flowed in his elegant words. He wasn't frank and crude like you'd expect a teenage boy's diary to be. His entries were half poetry. He had a romantic mind, and it showed in the way he wrote down his thoughts_. A water nymph?_ I smiled to myself and continued;

_June 10__th_

_ I told Pan that I didn't love her. I don't know why. I walked into the room and saw her face and immediately I felt an uncertainty that filled my stomach. There's no way that she could love me—there's no way that she'd stay with me. So I told her that I hated her, and only wanted to sleep with her. _

_ I had to hurt her, before she hurt me._

_ She seemed upset, but I just turned from her and left her to cry. I would have gone to comfort her, but I was afraid that if I touched her we would explode again and end up like we did last time, on the ground…doing things that we shouldn't be doing._

_ Goten, he would kill me anyways if he ever found out. _

_ But the worst of it all is that she found me later in the night and demanded to know why I did that to her, and why I was so mean. She didn't back down. She told me that she knew that I hadn't been with other girls before her. She told me I was a liar and that she knew I loved her._

_ I didn't want to tell her that I didn't want to be hurt…and she wouldn't leave me…so I turned around and pushed her to the ground. I flung a table over and cursed her. I told her that she was nothing, and the more she nagged me the more I'd hurt her._

_ Now that I'm calm I have a mix of emotions stirring. I feel guilty, but I felt…empowered when I pushed her away. I think back at the way she looked with the sun shining behind her, and little droplets of water training down her skin and wish I could touch her again. I don't want to write anymore, nothing's making sense._

I bit my lip and tried to understand the way he felt at that moment, but I really couldn't. All I could remember is how _I_ had felt when all that had happened. I couldn't tell my parents that Trunks had pushed me violently, because then I would have to explain w_hy _he did it, and I wasn't about to tell my mom that I had just lost my virginity.

_June 13__th_

_ It happened again. I didn't think that I'd let myself again, but like the last time, I couldn't stop myself. I was sitting across from her at the kitchen table. She was spending the night with Bra and eating dinner at my house. I was watching her from the corner of my eye. The way her lips turned up into a smile…the way she cut all her food into tiny pieces…how she'd keep her elbows politely off the table._

_ Then she looked up at me, expecting me not to notice. But our eyes locked. I thought she'd look away because of how mean I had been to her. But she stared right back. My breath got caught in my lungs. Her eyes were full of yearning and I wonder if she saw the same in mine._

_ After dinner we found each other on the back porch. Bra had snuck out to meet a boy in the shadow of our backyard and Pan was her lookout. I snuck up behind her and she went to signal Bra that someone was about to find her out but I grabbed her hand. She looked up at me, not sure what she'd find._

_ I told her to come with me and she did, without question. We were in a guest room and the next thing I know I'm telling her that she's a bitch and that she shouldn't look at me like she did, because I hated the sight of her. But I was lying…I hated that by just one look she controlled me. Just by a glance at dinner she made me lose control and HAVE to have her._

_ I threw her on the bed and…and I did whatever I wanted. I wanted to hold her after I was spent. I wanted to pull her to me and have her lay her head on my shoulder so we could feel each other's warmth. But she looked broken, and my mind held me back. So I just walked out of the room. I can't do this. What is wrong with me!_

I read page after page of our encounters. I read the war within his head. My eyes were blurry from reading his slanted, flourished script and my head swam with thoughts. I saw my engagement ring sparkling out of the corner of my eye.

And then I came to the entry he was writing this morning, when I interrupted him;

_Today, my love, in our fortress_

_ I've spent a long time trying to keep myself from loving you. As you can see, I would suppress my feelings until they ruled me and lashed out all at once. I hated you because you made me love and want so much all at the same time. I know there's something dark and evil inside me. I know that I'm not a good person. I hurt. I destroy. I've torn you to pieces, and I've torn your life to pieces. But I want to build you back up. I won't lie—I still sometimes don't want to love you. But I ALWAYS do. And I want to give what I've taken away. A family. I can't say I'll never raise a hand to hurt you again…but if I can catch myself before I do, I'll cut off my hand to save you the strike. It will not be easy loving me for the rest of your life and I think you know that. _

_ Sometimes I think I am mad…that I truly am crazy. And maybe so. You make me crazy, and you're the only person to make me sane as well. I know something that you may also know, but are denying. Close your eyes and focus. Try to feel the little spark of energy that I feel in you. _

I stopped reading. I closed my eyes and tried to feel what he wanted me to feel. Faintly, very faintly, I felt it. I dropped his journal and covered my mouth to suppress my gasp.


	23. Hell or High Water

I ran my hand down the flat plain of my stomach; I let it rest on top, like I was holding something inside myself.

_I want to give you what I have taken away…I want to give you a family_

His words came to mind and I had to close my eyes at the rush of emotion that seemed to want to engulf me. I couldn't distinguish what those emotions were…I just felt their power over me. All I could do was breath and ride them out until I could come to grips with the simple fact.

I was pregnant.

I didn't know how long I had been, but it couldn't have been for very long. I felt no sickness, no symptoms whatsoever. But the energy sparking to life in my belly was unmistakable. I had only over looked it because so much emotion was wrought out of me in such a short period. Trunks missed nothing about me. I felt like his bug under a microscope.

I stood up on unsteady feet, letting Trunks' journal topple off the bed and onto the carpet. I let it lay there. I walked down the hallway to his study, where I found him waiting for me. Our eyes locked. His stare was urging me to say something; his silence was his will to make me speak first.

"I'm…" I began but my voice sounded rough with emotion and the sound was too garish in the silence to finish.

"And how does that make you feel?" He asked. He wanted to gauge my reaction before he gave anything away about his feelings. I slowly walked right up to him and picked up his hand. I placed his hand on my stomach, feeling his calluses' from training gently scratch my soft, pale skin.

"It makes me feel…like every part of me is frightened and alive. We have to get to that beach, away from Goten. We have to get away from this. He has to grow up never knowing all of this mess existed."

Trunks nodded. "Then there is only one way. I've been thinking about it. You have to tell Goten you're pregnant."

Startled, I scoffed.

"I can't tell him I'm pregnant! He'll want me home even more then!" I protested.

"No." Trunks began, "not if I…hold you hostage, so to say."

I raised an eyebrow at him, not following his train of thought at all. Trunks stood abruptly, making me take two paces back. He walked to his metal-covered window.

"You have to go out there and tell him that you're pregnant. That you want to go home. When he agrees, I come and…threaten your life. I tell him that he has to let us leave or I'll…"

"Kill me." I finished for him. I understood then. If my life were at stake Goten would back down and let Trunks take off with me. But he wouldn't just let him go forever. He'd devise a new rescue plan and we'd be right back at fighting again the next week. I felt my heart sink as all the implications hit me.

We would continue to run from them forever. I'd have to out maneuver my family for the rest of my life. There isn't a place in the world I could go with Trunks where they would not attempt to follow. Unless we made it to another continent, where their search would become much more difficult. Even then…there were ways of finding us.

"No." I said finally. "No. We can't keep at this forever. I'll go with Goten."

Trunk's face flashed alarm, "What? I thought that-"

I held up my hand to cut him off, "I'm still going to marry you. But I have to go back to my family and explain to them what I want for my life. I have to make it clear that I am going with you and there is nothing they can do. I can try…to bridge the gap. Give me one week with them; I'll make them see…"

Trunks stared at me, his eyes flat and humorless. No, he wouldn't have it. But I had to convince him just as I would have to convince my family.' No' was no longer a word that I would abide by. I had to make things right for my child, and I'd be dammed if he were to be born into such turmoil.

"You'll never come back." He said, the heat in his voice not disguised. He was accusing me of desertion. I bit my tongue. He had to understand the need for this.

"For once in your life trust my love for you!" I railed, shocking him and myself at the same time.

Quietness descended on us. His mind was working- his hand tapping his thigh nervously. Would he take me as a hostage, and not just for show?

"Do what you think needs to be done." He said at last. His voice was low and he suddenly seemed very weary. He sat down on his chair and turned away from me. This once, I could not read what he felt. It left a strange feeling in my chest. I touched his knuckles with my fingertips, but would not kiss him. No, I wouldn't kiss him. He would have to trust my heart in this.

"One week." I said and turned to leave. As I reached the door I heard a crash. His desk, overturned in anger. I steeled myself and pressed the buttons that allowed me past the metal barriers and into the outside world.

I slid the key into the ignition of the car, letting it warm up. I rolled down the windows to let the fresh forest air into my lungs and took off toward Goten and two other energies that I recognized. Of course, it didn't take me long to get to them. As soon as they felt my energy leave the fortress they headed my way. So we intersected each other just outside of town. They stood in the roadway, waiting. I pulled the car up close and put it into park. For a moment, we all just looked at each other. Then my father wrenched open the driver's side door with much too much force.

"Pan!" He exclaimed and pulled me out. I stood in his embrace for a long time, neither of us daring to pull away lest we lose each other forever.

"What happened?" Vegeta asked first. Finally, the embrace broke and my father stood back to look at me.

"I'm here to come home." I tried to keep my voice steady, "I'll tell you the rest when we get there." All three, eager to know but also eager to get me back home, agreed and whisked me away like a rescued princess. They said little; I said less. They at all times created a protective triangle around me. I let them do what they must to put their minds at ease.

And then there we were, in front of my cheery little house among cheery little flower gardens. When I got out of the car I stood on the sidewalk and just looked, as if it were a painting and therefore unreal. I felt like trying to walk up the steps was like trying to re-create myself as a painted person. But I was entirely too real; sweating, nervous, on the brink of hysteria at every moment. But somehow I found myself opening the door to have every family member present and each with their own hug that seemed to last forever.

My mother sniffled into my shoulder as she hugged me. I felt lightheaded by the reception and overwhelmed at the task I had set myself out to complete. How could I tell these people I reject their love in exchange for Trunks? I still didn't know.

After Goten felt I was safe, I noticed he retracted to the farthest corner of the room. He didn't look at me or talk to anyone. I felt a stab of guilt. What one earth could he be feeling? Losing his best friend and watching his niece run mad. He must have gone through so much stress and worry on my behalf. I swore that I would talk to him before the night was over.

But as it was at that moment I had to face the terrible inquisition that I knew would be awaiting me. When we sat down in the dining room, with everyone at a spot at the table save Goten, the questions started to be hurled at me.

_"What happened? Why didn't you come home right away? Did he hurt you terribly? Where is he now? Will he come looking for you? How did all this begin?"_ Were the collective questions. The questions were piled one on top of the other. I couldn't tell who asked what.

"He won't come looking for me. I told him I would leave and that I would be back in a week." I said. Every face at the table grew stark and confused. Grandma Chichi, Grandpa Goku, Bra, Bulma…I closed my eyes and continued because I found it easier to speak to them that way.

"We are getting married. I am pregnant. I love him. I'm here to tell you that I don't want things to go on this way. Please. I want you all in my life as well as Trunks. There has to be a way."

And thus begun my battle to cut the rope that tugged at me from both sides. I'd find a way to change things.

Come hell or high water.


End file.
